Unusually for me, I wasn’t dreaming of what I’d done during the day, or everday activities, travelling, car chases, being shot at by police or knife-fighting – which is usually what I dream about. One time I dreamed of gun and knife fights in a brothel which I infiltrated, taking out every escort until I killed my enemies and their daughter, then I wasted a load of other brothel girls as I escaped. Joyriding and nicking cars to get away from murderous police are frequent dreams, but usually I dream of mundane stuff.
What I was dreaming of that night was unusually materialistic (though I have had dreams of owning several hundred pieces of jewellery all stored in one place, or furniture made of gold, or a private plane. It was red.) I really liked that plane. Anyway, to get, at long last, to the point: I was dreaming of buying designer heels in Harvey Nichols. And I don’t even usually wear heels, especially high ones. I’ve never had anything designer cos of being a student and, more importantly, preferring to have lots of clothes instead of a few designer ones, so I can easily express my own style. If your style is eclectic with elements of Goth, Egyptian and steampunk, you will find it difficult to shop designer. There are not a lot of designer corsets (for the steampunk look) or Goth-esque clothes. The rest of steampunk is easier, as it is basically Victorian + utility with a dash of military. Cue military jackets, combat trousers, white shirts, tailored silhouettes, empire lines, buckle boots, ruffles and waistcoats.
*Although I don’t wear an Egyptian-, Goth- or steampunk-inspired look every day. Sometimes it’s just eclectic. But the cinched-in waist and layering are always, always there, and I never wear clothes that aren’t form-fitting; I like to look elegant. And the styles are subtle, not costumey.
Anyway, to get back to the Rolanding adventure:
I was dreaming of taking a pair of gold strappy heels off the shelf, looking at them. Then the blankets came down off me a bit, exposing my arms. I felt it, and knew they had dropped off. Then I felt pressure on my forehead from nowhere. I realised a large fingertip was pressed onto my forehead; then it rubbed in tiny circles. I slowly woke up, and thought it can’t be quarter to six already!
“How are you?” asked Roland’s voice.
“Good,” I murmured, my eyes still closed. Hearing his voice had made me remember where I was, and why – a good thing, as sometimes my brain panics when I wake up after staying over at someone’s house, as I don’t remember where I am or how I got there.
I opened my eyes after a bit, asking him what time it was. Then he switched off the light and left, saying “Fifteen minutes.”
I lay there, having had two or three hours’ sleep, and felt oddly refreshed, considering I’d slept just 5 or 6 hours the night before seeing Roland, too, because of general excitedness. I thought of all that had happened the previous night, and smiled happily to myself. Who knew I’d enjoy it so much? He’d said he’d pay me today; I would have to make sure of that.
He came in again and said “five minutes.” It was exactly how my mother used to wake me up for school.
I got up, showered, applied the Bio Oil I’d brought, checked for texts, changed into a red jumpsuit and went down to kitchen, which, as I’ve said before, is a nice kitchen. Magda really has a good sense of style, or perhaps one similar to my own – others may not have liked the style.
Roland got me a coffee. He was doing work stuff on his laptop. I said I’d never been to Newcastle, which is true – I’ve travelled all over the Highlands and (some) Islands but not been anywhere in England apart from a few places. Incidentally, I got the sauce from Ann Summers in Carlisle. Didn’t think much of their spanking implements though, they seemed too light and thin to use. Maybe it’s what vanilla people think counts as BDSM. I have never understood the attraction of vanilla sex.
I’ve always loved long drives. I like looking out of the window at the landscape, which is usually beautiful in Scotland and a lot of England. As a child and teen, we’d drive 100 miles away every Saturday, to a few favourite spots and some other places anything from 70 to 170 miles away. And I love visiting new places, and taking photos of scenery, buildings, etc. So that might have factored in to me tagging along with Ro, where others might see a drive from Edinburgh to Newcastle as really boring. I said I wanted to eat something but he didn’t have anything that could be prepared in such a short time. BISCUITS, people! Always keep biscuits – or cereal – handy.
“Last night was really fun,” I said. That made him laugh.
“Well I’m glad you enjoyed it,” he said. After a bit he said we had to get going, and I felt that his haste was not purely motivated by a desire not to be late for the photoshoot, which he’d said he could easily cancel if he didn’t manage to get enough sleep. I knew Magda would be back sometime this morning, and I suspected he was eager to be off before she returned.
I quickly did my make-up in less than a minute – eyeshadow, liquid eyeliner, mascara and lipstick. I don’t wear foundation, primer, concealer or blusher. I ditched the foundation aged 14 because I felt I was getting dependent on it and couldn’t go out without foundation.I honestly think that if you’re young, you don’t need a foundation except temporarily to cover spots, dark marks from spots (which I had as an early-mid teen) or uneven skin tone. If you don’t have these problems, focus on getting your skin to be healthier so you don’t need foundation, concealer etc. You can use the money you would’ve spent on foundation to buy a product that makes your real skin look great! ( Did I mention Bio-Oil?) Then I plugged in my mini-straighteners, which I always carry if I stay over, and did my fringe but didn’t straighten any of my other hair.
Roland was running around making sure there were no traces of my presence and that I’d got everything; he worried about my necklace as I couldn’t find it, but I assure him I must’ve just stuffed it in my bag, which turned out to be true. I let him keep the anal beads as long as he promised not to use them on anyone else, so I wouldn’t have to stuff that many things in my bag next time. He kept the Pike book, (The Last Vampire 5: Evil Thirst) to read. He’d asked me to bring it so he could read it and see how we came to be here having this adventure. He thinks the book affected the 10-year-old Kalika and the fact that it’s my favourite means it could reveal things about me which led me to this point/being who I am today.
Then we were off, going down the A68 as rain pounded and the car automatically scanned through available radio stations. I found out he didn’t have a yacht, either. I said “You’re not doing the millionaire thing properly. You should live in a mansion and have a Ferrari and a boat like a proper millionaire.”
He laughed and said, “Well, do you know what happens if you do that? You don’t get to be a millionaire!” and laughed his head off.
My bum hurt after sitting for a while. I told him, and he said he was sorry; I’d expected him to be pleased or amused. Later, I asked him why he’d thought I didn’t like giving him a blowjob when I gagged, and he said it was because I had a disgusted expression on my face. But that’s just because I was gagging.
He told me about the book/film Dangerous Liasons, about a virgin driven mad by having sex with five men, which results in the death of one of them and the public ruining of another. Which is very unfair, as it’s hardly their fault, is it? Incidentally, the day before, in the studio, we’d been discussing the video of the consummation in the brothel and I’d told Roland that it might be better/more dramatic with some other guys in it too (I’d draw the line at 9 others and Roland/10 in all), as long as I get paid 9 times more (whether by him or those guys) but we didn’t reach any conclusive decision on this. Lochlan thinks I’m not ready for it emotionally. I’d need to know that they had degrees, so there might be practical difficulties, too. (Yeah, I’m a snob.)
Roland told me about a time he was on fire from having a BBQ in the back garden, which sounded scary but he hadn’t been scared at the time. One time my hair was on fire from a candle, but I didn’t feel scared, I just rolled and banged my head on stuff. Maybe people keep cool when stuff actually happens. He asked if he could keep my purity ring now that I was debauched and depraved, as he’d asked before and I’d said yeah. I said that he still hadn’t taken my virginity yet. Like I paid £8 for that ring, I wouldn’t give it up after wearing it for a day.
He’d said in the house that my job was to read the AA directions to Newcastle, which he hadn’t been to for four years but he used to go there…so why couldn’t he remember the way? I can remember the way if I’ve been somewhere once or twice, but I’m terrible with numbers or patterns. Eventually we arrived and parked and stuff. I got out of the car and, because of sleep deprivation, I suddenly wondered what was I doing in Newcastle so early in the morning? Roland had gone away to pay a parking meter so I’d forgotten about him. But then I remembered.