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Update on selling virginity

Since being in contact with potential virginity buyers on AdultWork and Seekarrangement, all this has happened:

One guy offered £20,000 then changed his mind

I’ve met up with two potential buyers in Edinburgh (both were offering £12,000)

I’ve recieved shedloads of time-wasting messages on Adultwork and a couple of emails, asking if I’m available today for outcalls or if I’ll accept £100 or £200

One guy (offering £15,000) changed his mind after seeing my photos, though he apparently thinks I’m “very pretty” and “cute” but not “what [he] had in mind”

I’ve had several emails and Adultwork messages obviously hoping for a freebie, and others who have exchanged several emails  with me only to subtly try to beat me down to £200 or £500 at the last moment (I. Am. Not. Stupid.)

And tomorrow I’ll be taking a photo of my hymen while holding a bit of paper with the guy’s name and the date on it. If only I had the photo that Donny took of it. I love how perverted some of my potentials are, though nobody seems to want to get into anything more than ageplay and spanking. Maybe I’m more kinky than most people. A lot of them want bareback/without a condom but are more than happy to get tested, which is fine by me. Roland also wanted it bareback and would’ve got a test.

The good thing is that I’ve learned (from male virginity seller @LegendaryDiego) that both he and Natalie Dylan tok over a year to sell their virginity. So at least I don’t feel so bad that the last time I sold sexual services to my initial buyer, Roland, was a year ago. I’m considering going to an agency within the next two weeks if I don’t find Mr Right before then.

 

 

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Selling virginity: 25 tips

Thinking/fantasising/wondering about selling your virginity? This is the world’s only online guide to selling your virginity. I’m in the process of selling mine. I hope this helps.

First off, I have to say that these won’t be comprehensive tips. This is because the number of known sellers is so low and only Alina Percea ever described her experience; it was a brief description in an interview, so not much can be inferred from it except that she enjoyed it. Her case is also unusual because afterwards they arranged to see each other again without payment; so your experience might not be as fun as hers. Secondly, all the sellers were young students in western/industrialized countries, most did it to fund their education. Their age range was 18-22. This means that the sample is very biased – for tips, we can only look at young, educated western women who didn’t have much money. Although I’m doing it for fantasy fulfillment, I had just turned 22 and was a student in the UK when I made the deal with him, which means I’m in the same category as everyone else who sold their virginity. Thirdly, my buyer Roland and I haven’t yet had vaginal sex, so perhaps it’s too soon for me to offer any meaningful insights of my own; furthermore my experience is unusual because it is dragged out over 4 times – I meet him 4 times and on the 4th time we have sex, then 4 times after that for £8,000. These tips aren’t just for women; it’s perfectly fine for men to sell their virginity too. Or transitioning people or androgynous people.

1. Try to do it by auction, instead of selling it to just anyone. This way, you’ll get more money – yay!  😀 (This is the most common method. It may attract media attention, but not a lot of attention, and the media did not ‘out’ the real identities of the other sellers.) See the list of all known people who sold their virginity here: https://diaryofavirginwhore.wordpress.com/2012/08/05/list-of-all-known-people-who-have-sold-virginity/

2. However, if you’re worried about safety or your emotional health or prefer it to be someone you like/not a stranger, sell it to someone you know. This is not good business sense, but if you can get a decent amount out of him and want the money fast, then it might actually be better to do it this way than wait a few weeks for the price to go up to what you want in an auction. This is also an easier and faster way if you can’t be bothered to deal with an auction, or the amount isn’t important to you and you’re not out for the highest amount possible.

3. If you’re doing #2, try to give them a trial-run to see how they measure up in terms of safety etc. Do this by getting them to pay you for a sexual act or sexual voyerism/photography that falls short of sex, and see what they’re like. (I did this).

4. Try to keep it to one night, or failing that, one weekend/a few days. Don’t spread it out over weeks by spreading the days far apart (i.e. don’t do what I’m doing.) It increases the risk of him becoming attached to you and vice versa. I really didn’t want to do it this way, but it’s what my buyer wanted, and to be fair, he did state this before we met to finalise the deal.

5. Go to Google Images and search photos of old fat guys doing porn. This will prepare you.

6. Be prepared that anyone with money to throw at your vagina (or penis) is going to be over forty and therefore look like shit. There are tall, skinny, muscled forty year olds and even fifty year olds, but they’re rare and if you’re out for the highest bidder you can’t expect to strike gold.

7. As a contradiction to #4, if you really want to make sure you get paid, try splitting it into two nights and ask him/her to give you a deposit – or half, or whatever – on the first night. Alternatively, keep it to one night and ask that he pays you a little bit just before you have sex.

8. If you’re under 16/the age of consent in your country, make sure your buyer knows this so s/he won’t get in trouble with the police for something he/she doesn’t know about.

Remember that although in some countries the age of consent is 14, that only applies if the older person is only 2 or 3 years older than you. If they are middle-aged, that’s still a crime – (which actually begs the question of whether it can be called the ‘age of consent’ at all); this is actually the same as UK law where even if one partner is over 16, they won’t be arrested if they’re only a couple of years older.

(This tip probably isn’t applicable if the age of consent is 12 in your country and it is a ‘real’ age of consent and doesn’t only apply if the person is only a couple of years older. However, if you are under 12, it probably isn’t a good idea to do this. I did fantasise about this from the age of 12, but I’m glad I waited till I was older to carry out my fantasy.)

9. Try, if possible, to find someone with similar kinks to yours – it’ll be more fun and make you more relaxed. You could do this by saying that you’re kinky in your auction description or listing your kinks. Selling to someone you know/choosing someone for their kinks might be something you want to consider if the amount isn’t important.

10. Start your auction on Ebay to attract the most attention/bids. Ebay will close your listing eventually, but you can continue on your own site/blog or by email.

11. The obvious one – use a condom/make them get tested. If you don’t have a national health service, you might have to get the morning after pill quite in advance if you are a woman. If you live in certain states in America, your parents may be notified if you get contraception and are under 18; you will need to find ways to work around this or get contraception from a drugstore or a doctor out of state. Or figure out something to tell Mommy and Daddy.

Taking your friends’ pills (the kind that isn’t the morning-after one) may put your health at risk or not protect you properly as there are several different kinds of pill, some of which may be unsuitable for you or only regulate periods and not protect you (there’s a very low chance of this, but I thought I’d better mention it.) So, if you’re going to get pills from friends, get the morning-after pill and not the other one. However really it would be best to be prescribed it by a doctor; you could try going to a doctor who isn’t your family doctor and/or giving fake contact details for your parents.

If you only had abstinence education at school, try reading up on protection online, in your school/college/uni library, etc.

12. Don’t think it’ll be easy. One night stands and NSA (no strings attached) sex sound ‘casual’ and ‘impersonal’ and yes, they most certainly are. BUT you’d still be having sex with some random you WANT, (at that moment) to have sex with (or are too drunk to care). Selling your body means having sex with someone you don’t want.

13. Don’t be put off by your friends’ or “friend”s’ negativity. It’s YOUR body. Don’t listen to people who put you down or call you nasty names. Especially, look out for “friends” who are just jealous of the money you’ll get. Hopefully, the only negativity you’ll get will be from genuinely concerned friends who are there to protect you; that’s a good thing. They will be there for you if anything goes wrong and it will be good to have trusted friends to confide in.

14. If you like writing, start a diary or a blog. It will be a happy memory for you when you’re older and you can relive your experience as you read it. It may also help you emotionally to have a place to vent about doubts, insecurities, negative reactions or irritating/unattractive traits in your buyer.

15. Think about SeekArrangements.com as a place to sell your virginity. It’s a site that pairs up students/graduates with rich men who will give you a monthly allowance of thousands for dating them. Obviously, you’ll have to see the guy more than once, but none of them are available for commitment so it might not be so different from what I’m doing (8 times, maybe more if we want to continue) – unless you advertise your virginity on the site and say you only want a night. It’s possible the site might delete your account if you do this – but that might be enough time to find your buyer!

16. Try to avoid selling or auctioning through an escort agency. Although it appears that girls who sold this way recieved $12,000 to £45,000, don’t be fooled! The media goes for shock value and the price they print is the price the buyer gives to the agency, NOT the amount the seller recieves. Agencies will take up to 50% of your earnings and you will also be taxed; prostitution is usually heavily taxed, and you may have to pay VAT on top of that. Some agencies may even charge you for running the auction for you and other incurred expenses. You could end up worse off if you change your mind during the auction or when you’re with your buyer. You could also end up worse off if the auction doesn’t attract high enough bids.

Furthermore, you will have to negotiate with the agency, so if you’re thinking of taking this route because you don’t want to do an auction yourself, yet don’t want to negotiate with potential buyers, DON’T.

If you sell through an agency, you might not be able to choose who you have sex with; you may have to choose the highest bidder or risk the auction being closed and owing the agency money. You might also not be able to request photos or exchange emails with bidders or with the highest bidder; all communication might have to go through the agency’s site.

Keep in mind that your anonymity or desire for a quick sale (if you need the money fast or find the waiting to be nerve-wracking) are going to take a back seat to the agency’s interviews with the newspapers about advertising a virgin (they are just using your sale to boost client numbers and encourage more escorts to work with them), and the agency’s push for the highest amount possible. This means that the agency may keep the auction going for weeks just for great PR which in turn will attract more/higher bids. So, if waiting around makes you nervous or you want the money within a couple of weeks, an agency is not the best route. “Noelle”‘s auction ran for over two months.

17. If you do decide to sell it through an agency, it will be easy because they will do all the work for you. However, discuss tax, their comission and all the above concerns with them (if they are things that concern you) and VERY CAREFULLY read any contracts they get you to sign. Discuss any “other expenses” “administration expenses” or hidden costs with them; you want to make sure you’re getting the amount you want once they (and possibly tax and VAT) take most of it.

Consider asking a lawyer who specialises in contract law to come along with you and be there when you go to the agency or sign the contract. The lawyer can read the contract for you and/or negotiate with the agency for you. Some lawyers charge just £30 per hour and it’s not like you’ll be using over an hour or two of the lawyer’s time.  If you’re under 18 you may be entitled to Legal Aid so it’ll be free. This option may sound ‘scary’, but paying a lawyer is very, very little compared to what the agency itself will charge you. (If you don’t want to pay a lawyer because you’re worried you won’t get high enough bids to make it worthwhile, you shouldn’t go to an agency in the first place.)

This link will help you avoid the negative consequences of working with an agency: http://redlightchicago.wordpress.com/2012/07/31/avoiding-bad-management-across-the-adult-entertainment-industry/

18. Consider making extra cash by selling your story to the media. To preserve anonymity (if you wish to be anonymous) conduct all interviews via email, instant messaging or a public phone booth. You could get a hushmail.com email address or use Tor or Ghostery to browse the internet to stop journalists hacking your computer. Another good option is to use a computer that isn’t yours, such as your university or school library, an internet cafe or a friend’s laptop.

Tell them to pay you directly into your bank account, or (if anonymity isn’t too important) have them send a cheque to your university’s reception or, if you’re not too worried about being outed, a friend’s address.

Being interviewed face-to-face doesn’t mean they will know your identity, and even if they did know your identity they may not out you. No sellers have been outed so far, although one seller’s identity was known to a tabloid because a reporter posed as a bidder and met her; but the tabloid decided not to reveal her identity. However, some people may not want to risk it. If anonymity is of paramount importance (like if your parents are right-wing ultraconservatives or would honour-kill you) don’t sell your story at all.

19. Forget the myths that you have to be stunningly beautiful or toast-rack skinny to do something like this. Rich guys prefer educational status to beauty, and while Natalie Dylan is very pretty in the professional photos for the brothel auction, she is just okay-looking in normal photos and videos, as is Rosie Reid, and neither of them are supermodel-thin. I’m not trying to insult them, just point out that it’s not a beauty contest. I’m not a tall size 8 with a 22 inch waist and GG breasts, either. (Actually, nobody is – there’s a waist-to-hip ratio for all human beings). I have hyperpigmentation/scars on my calves, frizzy/bushy hair and short eyelashes. Although I like the way I look, I’m well aware that I’m a far cry from the blonde salon-spirals, anorexic stomach and torpedo chest that the corporations tell us we should have; interestingly, while the Hungarian girl who got 200k is a blonde, she doesn’t have really long wavy hair or a Barbie body either. Edit: I’m soooo stupid – people, I forgot to tell you that I actually have trichotillomania, too! Yep. I like plucking from my legs, pubic area, sometimes my arms too. Occassionally I’ll pull from my head. It leaves little dark dots (scars) which fade, and it’s possible that the hyperpigmentation is from constant plucking and not past eczema…anyway, it proves you don’t need flawless skin. I was self-conscious of the blemishes/dark marks which I have a little on my upper back and my sides too (apparently my skin type pigments very easily just from scratching/rubbing, because of my ethnicity and there is no cure according to the doctor who I asked about it). Anyway Roland claims not to notice and have to have them pointed out to him, and he said they were barely noticeable. So, you are not as unattractive as the commercials make you feel.

You also don’t need to be single; Rosie wasn’t.

There’s no such thing as being too old/fat/disabled/tall/short/whatever to sell yourself – think “ampu-porn” “granny porn” “BBW [big beautiful women] porn” and “shemale porn” –  there’s no industry as diverse as the sex industry, and someone somewhere wants your body! You might even get paid more if your body type is difficult to find (certain disabilities or if you’re still in the process of transitioning to your true gender).

20.  While you should think carefully about doing this, remember that you can back out any time you want; nobody can legally be forced to have sex, even if you sign a contract with your buyer or an escort agency. If you do start an auction or even close a deal, it’s not set in stone. Don’t feel too intimidated to even start because you’re worried about how you’ll feel later on – there doesn’t even have to be a later on unless you say so.

21. If you’re unsure about it, try starting an auction as a joke – a la Rosie – or an experiment, and see where it takes you.

22. If you’re still not sure, write down a list of everything you could buy with the money, or everyone you think you would lose your virginity to if you didn’t sell it, e.g. ‘My friend Danny, some random, the guy I’m dating, my future boyfriend…’ You might also want to try writing a list of the pros and cons, or a list of your fears/why you wouldn’t want to do it.

23. As a gay man or lesbian woman, you may feel that you’ve already lost your virginity, which is perfectly valid – it’s wrong that ‘virginity’ refers to penis-vagina penetration. It’s quite a silly distinction, actually. But in this case, it could help you get lots of dosh, so play along! Rosie Reid did, and she got £8,400 so there’s everything to play for. Selling your ‘virginity’ to a heterosexual doesn’t mean you’re accepting that gay sex isn’t ‘real’ sex or that you haven’t ever ‘really’ lost your virginity. It just means you’re great at marketing!

24.  Other sites to advertise on are: sugardaddie.com, adultwork.com, Craigslist, Benaughty.com, and of course Gumtree.co.uk, ineed.com (New Zealand), Ebay, etc. Try Googling prostitution sites, or, (if you’re looking to sell it to a gay or lesbian buyer, sites that specialise in same-sex prostitution and same-sex dating); and appropriate dating sites. Appropriate ones – eHarmony is out.

25. Enjoy yourself! This is your personal experience, unique to you. Enjoy every step from the auction launch/offer to someone you know/visit to the escort agency to the moment after you’ve been paid. This shouldn’t be a stressful, nerve-wracking or harrowing experience. If it is, stop.

And isn’t it more sensible to get money for your virginity instead of giving it to a future ex, a random at a party, or even a friend who may not be your friend in a few years? Selling your virginity means you’re giving it to yourself, and most importantly, you get MONEY!! 😀

 

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List of all known people who have sold virginity

I have decided to compile the World Wide Web’s only list of everyone known to have sold their virginity, along with the amount and outcome. (Does not include people who planned to sell their virginity but have no evidence of a serious attempt to carry on with the sale, or people who traded it for shoes, Justin Bieber tickets, marriage, Apple products, commitment, Blackberrys, or small amounts of money. These all happened – Google it.) As brothels and agencies take large percentages of the amount, it is not known how much some of the sellers recieved, especially if they were taxed.

A 16 year old Irish Girl posted ad/auction on Gumtree.co.uk to fund Art supplies for university -attempted for £6,000 Result not known http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/northern-ireland–teen-selling—virginity-to-highest-bidder-14650532.html

A New Zealand 19 year old student, through action site ineed.com, equivalent to £20,000  http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/australiaandthepacific/newzealand/7146187/Poor-New-Zealand-student-sells-virginity-to-stranger-for-20000.html

Noelle, a Belgian 21 year old student through an Amsterdam escort site – £45,000 for 24 hours. Bidding started at £4,200 and after two months of bidding it rose to £45,000. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1383814/Student-sells-virginity-online-45-000-shes-keeping-identity-secret-case-parents-out.html

Australian, Chinese-born schoolgirl through escort agency – $12,000 (whatever that’s equivalent to in GBP) for 2 days or $15,000 for 4 days, depending which story you read. The agency will take up to 50% http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/8462671/sydney-escort-agency-selling-schoolgirls-virginity-for-12k

Natalie Dylan (not her real name) , 22 year old American student, through a Nevada legal brothel to fund a postgrad degree, goal of a million USD, sold for 3.7 million (amount never verified, actual transaction never verified). She got the idea from her sister paying for tuition after prostituting herself for 3 weeks.http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,480037,00.html

Alina Percea, German erotic website18 year old student, to help her family in Romania and fund university education -£8,000 but may have lost over half in tax and VAT, leaving her with over £3,000 in the end. She claimed they set up another meeting, and this time she wouldn’t make him pay.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/germany/5363002/Teenager-who-auctioned-virginity-loses-half-the-money-in-tax.html

18 year old Hungarian girl, to pay off family debts and go to medical school,  £200k but knew she will lose half in tax. http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3083258/Teen-girl-sells-virginity-to-Brit.html

18 year old British student Rosie Reid, a lesbian in a relationship. Sold through Ebay then through a website she set up after Ebay shut down the bid, £8,400. Sold to a BT engineer to pay for tuition fees. She initially posted it as a joke but then recieved responses and realized people would pay.

 

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When I first met Roland

The weird thing is, I feel like I’ve known Roland for a long time. I’m very comfortable around him. He was doubtful that it was my first modelling experience the first time he met me and I modelled nude for £100, because, he said, I was very good at modelling and obviously experienced. I know that he was surprised how comfortable I was modelling nude, like I’d done it before. But I think it was because I felt comfortable around him and also safe, well as safe as you can feel naked and alone with a man in a mostly empty building with your phone way over there because you made a rare miscalculation cos you were so busy wondering if he’d possibly pay you for future spankings or sex acts or buy your virginity. I didn’t feel nervous at all about modelling or taking it off. Of course, it helped that he started off with clothed shots and then progressed to taking off layers, so I had time to get used to the clicking, flashing and lights. It is light and sound that can cause anxiety in me, not showing off my body (though I refuse to wear tarty/skimpy outfits even to go clubbing; there is only a certain amount of skin I will show and looking sexy doesn’t mean a micromini with no tights or boobs nearly falling out of your top). So, I’m not Snog, Marry, Avoid material by a long shot.

Anyway he was nice to talk to and pretty easygoing, kinda fun. He didn’t give off the rape-y vibes that some people might expect from a guy utterly obssessed with erotic images of women to the point of producing beautiful art out of it. I’m just as obssessed with erotic BDSM images of both genders, especially guys, but my art isn’t as nice as his. Anyway, he never looked at me except in a professional way and kept skin contact almost nonexistent even at golden opportunities like rearranging strawberries in my crotch. Nor would I inappropriately stare at or touch a male model if I was photographing them either, because of cultural prescriptions for my gender. Only kidding! Of course I would!! (The staring, not the harassment/molestation). There was a notable absence of leering and drooling. So I was thinking, this might work, if he wants to pay me for more stuff after this time. (I’m not saying I was expecting something bad or uncomfortable to happen, just preparing for the worst. And sometimes people don’t realise they’re making the other person uncomfortable – a comment you’d take as a compliment when clothed might feel different when you’re naked.) This was the first time anyone saw me naked.

Afterwards he spanked me which left me very confused and shocked that such pleasure could exist naturally in the world and not cost anything. I felt saddened that we pursue movies, video games and commodities when all the pleasures of Olympus can be found in being spanked. I realised I’d frittered away my life not dedicating it to the pursuit of sexual pleasure. I was dizzy with the need for sex, but I wanted a proper negotiation when I was in my right mind and able to get loadsa money for it. He paid me, including £50 extra for spanking me, and I felt so proud and sick to be so favoured by my god. (That’s not entirely serious – I don’t believe God influences every nuance of our lives; I think he watches, judges, but is noninterventionist, as anyone dying of starvation will tell you.)

Roland had this look on his face like he would fuck me right there, a pure look of lust which I found intriuging. He was talking about maybe Saturday, in his office, with implements; maybe going to a hotel room. I was contemplating whether or not he’d pay me what I wanted. I wouldn’t agree to anything without being paid, and a fair price, not like £500 or some crap. So I wasn’t about to agree to it in this post-spanking state when my powers of negotiation were weak. I also wanted to talk to him about buying the rights to my hymen. So, I was all noncommital “maybes”.

On the drive to Buccleuch Place where he dropped me off, I told him I was a virgin, and he said he’d guessed cos I’d told him I’d never been spanked. I expressed reticence towards having sex with him, just spanking (due to not being sure I wanted to and also to justify asking a high price for sex in the future).

I also took the opportunity to find out a bit more about his kinks and concluded we were a good match. I also deduced from his car and the fact he co-owns a company that he could pay me around 3k/4k. He also claimed to be thinking of buying another car, and made a further claim that it might be an Aston Martin. I was pretty much thinking, ‘this is the one! But you accepted £50 to spank you, how will you justify 3k to fuck? No, justification isn’t the thing, it’s your prerogative to set the price. But nobody will pay that! He can! But he won’t! He will if you convince him to, just don’t act desperate! I’m not! He’s a good choice, though; well educated, and he won’t risk his success by forcing you to do anything. And he did well in the trial run, he didn’t try anything during the spanking and he stopped when you asked him to.And you like him.He’s mine. Just don’t go lower than 2.5k, not any lower than that; we want 3k or 4k. So don’t act desperate, play it cool. He’s mine! He’s mine! He’s mine!

It’s amazing I could talk with all that going on in my head.By the time he dropped me off I knew that if I wanted spanking-only prostitution I could have that with him; and I wanted it. But as for selling my virginity I wanted that too and I hoped my reticence over sex would pay off (literally) later.

I was feeling lightheaded as I walked into the uni library. I don’t usually feel any emotions apart from happiness, which is a constant, but the euphoria of pride, elation and hope that percolated in my blood was as potent as any drug. I thought I might vomit from happiness, it was so intense.

 

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Preying on a young student

“Anyway, a contract wouldn’t be a good idea, because it’d be evidence. If we got found out. And you’d have more to lose than me,” I added smugly, “Cos nobody cares what a student does. Even if I was famous in future, they’d be just like, ‘oh, she was a student, she was just doing it for the money. But you’re a businessman. That’s a scandal.” I let the word drip with luscious shame and it hung in the air between us.

“Oh yes, I would be the bad guy,” he smirked, “Corrupting an innocent young student. A pervert preying on a helpless young girl.” (Or something like that – I make no guarantee that I remember every word correctly in this scene, or in the rest of this blog; I also omit conversations which repeat themes, facts or content, as my conversations with Roland were occassionally repetitive, probably because of the nature of the situation.)

This made me smile.

We stopped at Roland’s studio so he could get his photography equipment to shoot me in his office. While we were in the studio, I sat on the tiny sofa where he had given me my first spanking around two weeks before. We chatted a bit about the spanking and I admitted that I’d felt a bit confused and mixed-up immediately afterwards because I hadn’t realised that something so pleasurable could be free and so easy to do. I had been unprepared for how satisfying and wonderful it felt. He had finally given me what I’d fantasised, written and drawn about since I was 9 years and 2 months old. And it had been better than that time I’d spanked a guy. Roland laughed when I told him that.

“You want to spank me now?” I asked, and he went out into the corridor to check and said people would hear it. He came back in and made me strip like a dirty little prostitute. He grabbed me around the waist, his hands rubbing and feeling my whole body; I must’ve looked stunning to him in my red lacy underwear so I’m not surprised he did that. It was very tickly, and painful and delightful all at the same time. Roland squeezed, pinched and stroked me, saying “Is this what’s for sale? Let’s see this body then.” I wriggled as he examined me. It was so debasing and entertaining to be treated as a commodity, a mere product, like a red Ferrari or something. Something to be inspected, looked at from every angle, test driven. You might wonder how a feminist – I’ll post more on my views, research, and political beliefs later – could possibly be aroused and intellectually stimulated by a man treating her as a possession. Surely, any woman (and indeed regular man) with half a brain cell would be horrified at reading this blog. But I think the enjoyment was possible because I knew he didn’t really see me that way; he sees me as a person and he knows my thoughts and personality, interests, views and hobbies. It was also pretty funny because it was really tickly so I was giggling and squirming a lot.

He made me sit on the sofa, saying “look what the uni dragged in,” and set up his camcorder. He started filming me, interrogating me about selling my virginity to him. The special photography light was shining in my face as he gave me the third degree while filming my responses.

The light he used to make me ‘confess’

I said this must be how people in Saudi Arabia feel (before being hypothetically spanked by the police) and then said I knew this was inapproriate to joke about; I cut that fantasy short because I had a bad experience with discovering one of my BDSM torture fantasies to be actually true in a neighbouring country to Saudi Arabia.

Anyway, he made me confess to prostituting myself and then I asked him to stick the radio’s little plug in my butt, and it hurt quite a lot, it was uncomfortable but also very satisfying. Then we drove to his office.

 

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Being a good prostitute

We drove through Edinburgh, and in response to something I said, Roland said “but you don’t have a husband,” which made me giggle because the thought of being married was incredulous to me. He said he would probably tell his wife (they have an open relationship among their friends) and I couldn’t stop imagining myself having a husband. I told him that although I’d always thought of myself as being a romantic as a teen, actually I’d just realised I wasn’t – since the age of 9 I had fantasised about having a husband. However, those fantasies consisted of me being caught cheating and spanked hard by my husband, or my lover being spanked by him. Of course, I also fantasised about spanking my husband (I am a switch). Though unlike Roland, I am polyamorous rather than favouring an open relationship. I don’t care for polyfidelity either. While I’m on the subject of my sexual preferences, I have never really wanted a boyfriend as I’m unable to be attracted to guys more than superfucially; I only want casual relationships and commitment scares me. It’s one of the reasons I wanted the installments – because continuing to see Roland aftrwards is way too much commitment for me to handle; I will need to lead myself up to it slowly. (I told Roland this in the Tower restaurant and he says I’m alternative sexuality). He seems to think my preferences rare. So do I, which is why I am proud of them.

However, there is one guy who I would consider moving in with, so this is an exception to my comitment phobia; he is poly too. Unlike with other guys, I don’t see him as merely attractive or just sex on legs; I see him as a person. Though of course I would never sleep with a guy who I didn’t see as a person; that’s just wrong and disrespectful. The reason I tend to see guys as just existing for my pleasure is that I never get to date the boys I like; the ones I like always aren’t interested or have girlfriends while the ones I don’t like follow me around like bitches in heat. So, basically, I never get to really know guys I would consider hooking up with so never get beyond superficial attraction. And none of my male friends are into spanking, enemas, diapers,pee/poop desperation, torture etc which are my kinks.

Anyway, we’re driving along under the Salisbury crags and Roland starts joking about making a legal contract,except that you can’t make contracts about illegal acts (or the contract is void) and I said “Well, prostitution’s not illegal, it’s just soliciting and kerb-crawling that’s illegal. So we could make a contract.” And he laughed and rubbed my leg and said “Well, there’s the whole ‘moral turpitude’ thing; and this, my dear, I think would count as moral turpitude.” Which was really funny, for some reason. The ducks and swans were flying off the pond when he said that.

“I’m your prostitute now,” I said. “I’m going to be a good whore for you.” We both laughed at that. It was kind of exhilarating – almost liberating? for me; I’m a feminist.

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The Tower: How it started

So, it’s 1:17 am, I’ve finished all my exams, the summer is unrolling itself in front of me. And I’m lying here looking at the screen and wondering how on earth I’m going to get all my thoughts, facts and, well, everything onto WordPress in chronological order. This is a fun experiment, blogging, but I want to get it right. I’m known for being able to write well; I’ve had stuff published. So I don’t want this attempt to be a major screw-up, do I? Anyway, does chronological order matter – the film scriptwriters don’t seem to think so with their love affair with flashbacks. But let’s try for a little chronology here. I suppose it all really started in the Tower.

The Tower is a restaurant on top of the National Museum of Scotland in Edinburgh (it’s a great museum, by the way, you should go if you’re ever in Edinburgh.) Anyway I’d never been in a restaurant that expensive (from the perspective of students) before; I’m pretty sure I saw food that was £70 and that was a main course, excluding the starter. But I digress.

The Tower restaurant where we made the deal.

I was nearly at the museum but had to turn and come all the way back around, to avoid being spotted (for reasons not connected to this.) Roland had booked a table for us and it was lovely being in this restaurant because I’d never had this before, and it’s nice being treated as you deserve, I suppose. I’m not trying to say I’m a good person, just that I’m a pretty young girl and should be treated like a lady. (Yeah, I’m a spoilt bitch, as you guessed.) I hadn’t had time to flick my hair or reapply lippy/apply lipgloss or eyeliner after my exam (because of an incident unconnected to this) but it didn’t bother me Roland seeing me this way because I’m beautiful, even though my so-called hair has a life of its own. We were sitting talking, and it was kind of flirty; it was fun talking about these things in code in this restaurant. I had chicken – it was delicious.

I was wearing a long floaty opaque top with an embellished collar over a tight gold vest top and grey Aztec-print leggings. Roland is above average in looks, though not what I go for, and I was looking at him and thinking to myself ‘How on earth can you do this, you’re not attracted to him even one percent??’ but then I thought, ‘Kalika, you can do anything for money.’ And besides, he had a PhD, wasn’t fat, was tall, and was definetly someone I could talk to and connect with – we’re actually very similar in some ways. Even though he had a receding hairline and could’ve lost a couple of pounds, he wasn’t unattractive or wrinkly. So it wasn’t like he was totally unworthy of me or anything like that – in fact I like him. So why did I feel disgusted at the thought of it, since I genuinely liked this guy in every way except a sexual way? I decided that I must be even more interesting than I thought I was. If only we could control who we were attracted to! But then that is not true prostitution, is it, if you do for money what you would willingly do for free? That’s unfair to the client. I smiled and relaxed as I realised this.

I told Roland this, and he wasn’t surprised that I wasn’t attracted to him. I think he was amused by me saying that if I was it would not be true prostitution.

And the more we talked, the less disgusted I felt, as I realised how alike we were and the weird thing is, there was not one awkward moment.

Think about it.

We’d met in real life once, two weeks ago, to do a nude photoshoot and afterwards he spanked me (as we’d discussed online, or I wouldn’t have agreed to it. And come to think of it, he wouldn’t have done it, probably.) After that, I’d asked him if he wanted to buy my virginity online. Well, I didn’t ask just like that; I have well-honed social, negotiation and manipulation skills, though I deployed only the barest fraction of these skills to ask him this. He said yes and I said, good (that is what those messages boil down to, if you take out all the crap and posturing). Then he says, basically, that since we’re doing lunch tommorrow before he drives me to his company, Luxor Engineering, to spank and video me, we could talk about this over lunch.

So here we are. I’m very happy because I know my negotiation skills ensure me a good deal, even if I’ll be going up against a businessman. (Though my default state is being very happy, so this may not account for much.)

And it’s great; it feels right; I’m happy being here with Roland. If I were hearing about someone else doing this, I’d expect a lot of pauses and wondering what to say next. But that didn’t happen. We talked about all kinds of stuff; art, relationships, the stupidity of conspiracy theories, spanking, my BDSM political satire story; my other spanking story; America; stuff. When he mentioned he had bunny ears for me to be photographed in in his office after lunch, this oldguy in a red jumper stares and glares at him; it was hilarious.

I leaned forward and whispered that the oldyguy had given him a disgusted look; Roland said “I don’t really care what others think of me,” and sneaked a couple of glances over at him.

“So, what made you want to sell it?” he asked.

“I’ve always wanted to, since a couple years ago,” I said, looking directly at him. “Like, I think abstinence [the Christian ritual practice of not having sex until the night of marriage, similarly to Muslim and Middle Eastern/Asian cultural practice] is very erotic, but selling it is pretty sexy too…It’s just something I want to do.”

He said that he can understand why abstince can be sexy. “And of course, you’ve been doing something similar,” he pointed out. (Which is true; I am indeed sort of abstinent, but not until marriage. I am abstinent until either my virginity is sold or I find a guy who will “rape” me after a night of debasement, spanking, poop/pee desperation, enemas, diapers, babying, etc.) Being abstinent is, indeed, extremely sexual.

I told him about an abstinence indoctrination programme I saw once on a Christian channel and how very erotic it was (I disagree with its emphasis on female purity, its degradation of female sexuality and its perpetuating of the double standard, but abstinence as a concept is HOT!) and how Christian programs especially those which address fornication are wonderful to masturbate to; this made him laugh a lot.

Then we get onto dessert (icecream and sorbet, yum!) and start talking about selling virginity. Roland tells me, as he did online, that as an artist he’s interested in the art: making a film out of it and doing photography. The sex is only a part of the art, and it is the latter that he would pay for.

 

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