Mama I’m in love with a criminal. And this type of love isn’t rational, it’s physical. (it’s physical). This song by Britney Spears was playing in an arty clothing shop in Glasgow as I was spending my prostitution earnings. I’m playing it right now. The rest of the lyrics after this are: Mama please don’t cry, I will be alright/and all reason aside, I just can’t deny, I love that guy./He’s a rebel with a tainted heart/And even I am just a tart.
Roland thinks that I think I love him, so if I did my song (to the same tune of Criminal) would be:
Mama I’m in love with a pervert now.
And this type of love isn’t rational, it’s physical. (It’s physical).
Mama please don’t judge him cos he treats me right,
And I got all the fucking that I need all night. (all night long).
He’s got a corporate facade but a pervert’s core
And he’s the perfect mate for me, a whore.
Mama please don’t sigh, he’s not my only man
Your daughter’s proud to be a slut and she has ten.
Mama please don’t cry, he got millions
I’ll love him till I meet a guy with billions (with billions)
He’s a pervert but an educated one
And furthermore the sex is really fun.
Mama, he’s the one I have to marry
If I really want that red Ferrari!
Mama please don’t cry, your baby’ll be alright
As long as she can fuck three hours a night. (Three hours a night)
And Roland is my soulmate, I can tell
By his balance sheet and his car as well
Mama he’s polyamorous like me
He’s a dirty old man with no qualms
But he’s giving me 8000 pounds
See, he’s of financial benefit to me
And also I’m learning how to fuck for free.
He’s a professional who loves his art,
And I’m a kinky bitch without a heart.
Mama I’m in love with a pervert now,
And this type of love isn’t spiritual; it’s professional
I’m a prostitute who likes electric drills
So, if I lived my fantasies, I’d kill.
What I want to do to him is criminal
And my self-control at best is miminal (it’s minimal)
Mama, my dreams are the devil’s art
But rape and torture are dear to my heart.
Mama please don’t cry, I won’t set him on fire
All laws aside, I can’t deny, wanna rape that guy.
The Government can’t torture me in Britain,
This is a situation that’s not worth living,
But worse still, if I use electricity
On him without consent, they’d imprison me.
Mama, Roland’s fucking a criminal
He doesn’t know my sex drive is so powerful
Mama I’m scared I’m gonna lose control
Mama do you know where to get a taser?
It’d be cool if I could find a laser
He’s a fucking pervert, a predator
But an educated fucking pervert, so that’s better.
Mama, I’m in love with a pervert now,
I’m a pure virgin with my innocence in tow
Mama, do you think he’s too much for me?
If he loves me back, I might get that Ferrari.