Someone suggested I write this post. Note: I only had to use these techniques the first time. After that I enjoyed it a lot more and was right there in the moment. So, this knowledge comes from just 45 mins/an hour of experience of doing stuff I didn’t want to do in my buyer’s company office. (When he spanked me, I totally loved it, of course.)
1. The obvious one – imagine it’s someone else. I imagined a friend’s friend, a guy in my class, then a friend.
2. Pretend it isn’t happening. Try not to look and instead focus your attention on something you enjoy, such as a kinky scene or BDSM story (or whatever makes you happy).
3. Talk – make sexy conversation or tell a story to distract yourself. This can totally work – I told Roland a sex story that I was making up as I went along, and he liked it and thought it was really good, plus it also took my mind off what I was doing/calmed me down. It can totally work if you hold your buyer’s gaze and speak in a sexy way while telling the story as if it were true, widening your eyes and doing expressions where appropriate. Tell it as if it amazes you and also saddens you.
4. Keep thinking of the money and reciting the amount in your head. Say, “I’m doing this for £x” in your mind over and over. (This also works for doing a crappy low-paid job; I got through part-time work by saying this mantra over and over in my head.)
5. Try to enjoy it and learn something from it like how to please a man or take the chance to really hone your knowledge of comparative anatomy.
6. Try to distract him by pretending you hear a noise. Note: this doesn’t work if he owns the flipping place.
7. Close your eyes and focus on the sensations – this will please you sexually as you’re biologically programmed to like this. It will also help with imagining your buyer looks more gorgeous/less old or with imagining a surrogate person.
8. Have a drink first.
9. If you have a kink, get him to perform it first so you get turned on and are at least partially ready to perform. I got Roland to smack my bottom which turned me on (it’s like a big, squashy sex drive button!). The female sex drive is an on/off switch and is easily aroused.
10. Pretend you’re somewhere else.
11. Pretend it’s not real, or a dream/fantasy/illusion
12. Detach yourself completely from what’s happening and let your body take over. Your body, or the minimal amount of your conciousness left in your body, will know what to do through instinct. You might actually perform better without nervousness, embarassment or being self-conscious. As you get acclimatised, you can gradually allow yourself back into your body. (This sounds very hard, but it’s not like astral projection, it is all psychological. I learned this in like 1 second and I don’t have a psychology degree, so it’s not difficult. I suspect it’s some sort of primal defence mechanism.)
13. Focus on how you look to him – the position of your body, your facial expressions. This will help you provide a better service and also take your mind off what you’re doing.
14. Put yourself in a state where you don’t feel anything (emotionally numb). I’m not sure if this ability is unique to me, though – maybe not everyone can do it. I wouldn’t know.
15. And, most important of all: Relax. It might be boring, uncomfortable or just plain nauseating at first, but at some point your sex drive will take over and make it a LOT of fun. And even if your sex drive doesn’t kick in, remember that no matter how horrible it was, once it’s over you’ll be really pleased and proud of yourself and it will become a fond and amusing memory.