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The Piano Teacher: Stigmatising BDSM

Michele Haneke’s Piano Teacher (2001) is a French erotic drama about – to paraphrase the blurb on the DVD cover – “a repressed woman in her late thirties”, Erika Kohut (Isabelle Huppert) who lives with her tyrannical mother. The plot follows her relationship with her handsome student, Walter Klemmer (Benoit Magimel) and how her “claustrophobic” world shatters as she gives free reign to previously inhibited desires.

This film has nothing positive to say about BDSM, which is surprising since its protagonist is into BDSM. Judging by the blurb, you could be forgiven for thinking that the film was a statement about the acceptability of BDSM, since it has an educated, successful protagonist contrasting a vanilla and domineering mother, and the entire plot centres on the unleashing of BDSM desires.

Nothing could be further than the truth. The movie actually manages to stigmatise BDSM even more than E. L. James has done (by linking BDSM to childhood abuse and having an abusive, possessive hero and an idiotic passive heroine).

Here is a list of why this movie sucks, because it is so bad that I can’t write it out properly:

Childhood abuse/current emotional abuse raises its ugly head as the possible cause of BDSM desires, as Erika’s mother is abusive

BDSM is conflated with self-harm as Erika cuts her genitals deeply for no apparent reason and derives no sexual satisfaction. There is a lot of blood. Even I, who wants my labia pierced in a BDSM context and has attempted to drink Roland’s blood, was disturbed by this scene, as it smacks of self-harm and not play.

Walter is the pursuer and is sexually aggressive, even jumping up and leaning over a stall door in a public toilet to watch Erika (his professor) using the toilet. Erika is passive to his advances – reminiscent of stereotyped gender roles and the double standard.

Erika has incestuous desires towards her mother and attacks her sexually; this is untypical of the BDSM community.

Erika is not independent; she still lives with her mother in a small rented flat. Again this is untypical of BDSM-ers and, considering a professor’s salary, is unrealistic.

Walter is disgusted upon knowing his girlfriend is kinky. This isn’t realistic and is hurtful, yet Erika just takes his disgust and does not call him on it. Hardly the behaviour of a professional.

Erika deliberately injures her pupil’s hand permanently by putting smashed glass in her coat pocket, then pretends to commiserate with the pupil’s mother. BDSM is confused with psychopathic tendencies and criminal behaviour.

Erika displays hypocrisy by blaming her pupils for looking at porn, as it is degrading to women, but then she watches porn herself.

Erika self-harms with a knife in public.

When Erika finally gets what she wants – a rape fantasy which initially angered and disgusted Walter – it doesn’t turn out to be as good as she thought it would be, and she is upset by it. This is the end of the film. This is a very negative portrayal of BDSM, and an explicit suggestion that BDSM is dangerous and emotionally damaging. It could also be taken as a dim view of female sexual expressiveness, as realised desire turns out to be traumatic for the woman but satisfying for the man.

In sum, the protagonists are a psychotic criminal with a history of abuse and repressed desires (Erika) and a sexually aggressive person (Walter), both of them in need of treatment to ensure they do not cause any risks to those around them. This is not representative of BDSM. The entire film portrays both BDSM and female sexuality as perverted, dangerous, criminal and destructive – or perhaps the implicit message is that only a disturbed, traumatised individual would like BDSM, or assert her sexuality?

 
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Posted by on October 5, 2012 in Film

 

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Life between the parallel lines

In the mid-1800s, the virgin/whore dichotomy was at its most extreme, which meant one simple social rule: there was a line drawn on the ground, and if you crossed it you were no longer a virgin – you were a ruined woman, a whore. These (slightly) more enlightened times have brought more freedom to women (and men) but paradoxically the rules, for women, are now harder to follow.

This is because there is now another line – you can’t be “frigid” or a virgin. You have to date, you have to have a boyfriend, but at the same time you can’t step over that other line into glorious slutdom. You’re trapped, between the parallel lines.

The contested space between the lines is most overtly expressed in high school. If you’re percieved as too close to one line, you’re frigid, ugly, a lesbian, a snob, a virgin, a girl who can’t get a man. Yet step too close to that other line and you’re a slut, a whore, cheap, easy, a ho, skank, slag, or nasty girl. And the lines aren’t only present in high school; they’re prevalent everywhere.

In offices and families and friendship groups everywhere, women are trying to fit into that little space between the lines. Your colleagues might not yell “Slut!” at you or snicker that you’ll “die a virgin” but they can gossip behind you. Your relatives might moan that you’re still single or frown when you tell them you’ve got a new man (or more than one man). And a lot of us are familiar with the feeling of not being able to keep up with our friends who somehow effortlessly lay man after man, yet wonder how they’ll judge our own behaviour when we finally do get up the nerve to do something adventurous.

For those who are abstinent, there is pressure to “do it the world’s way”. Yet the world which seems so liberal to the abstinents is often judgemental and rejecting to polyamorous or kinky women – or even simply women who regularly have NSA sex.

So, whether you’re abstinent or polyamorous (or both!), maybe it’s time to fly upwards – out of that confined space between the painted lines on the ground. They are only paint, after all.

 
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Posted by on October 3, 2012 in Feminism

 

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The Starlight Crystal

Some of you may remember that, apart from this blog and doing other things, I (try to)find time to reread all of Christopher Pike’s books that I read aged 9-12, by buying them for a pound or two off Ebay.

Tonight I reread the Starlight Crystal, about a girl who voyages on a spaceship travelling at near lightspeed and so doesn’t age. She lives till the end of the universe and watches it begin anew. She lives for two Creations, the last part in the body of her clone who has inherited her memories, and works to fulfil her destiny by making everything come true that happened to her in the first creation – including creating an alien race that will nearly wipe out humanity. In the end she attains a sort of enlightenment and becomes Creation, able to finally spend eternity with the man she has repeatedly loved and lost.

I can see why these rather fanciful books, full of philosophy, metapysics, astronomy, murder, whodunnit, violence, science fiction, horror and the supernatural were able to appeal to my young and curious mind.

There is, I feel, a certain significance in rereading these books at the time that my wish is being fulfilled. I did reread two of Pike’s books a couple years ago – The Last Vampire 1, Remember Me, and Remember Me 2: The Return. But rereading the rest of them now, it is nostalgic and honestly I could cry for the nine year old with such powerful desires, such vivid fantasies; I could weep for her knowing of the long barren years that lie ahead when she will lay panting under the covers, lost in the world of the Village whee every day brings spanking, pants pooping/wetting, forced nappies and torture. And public humiliation. True, she never believed her fantasies would be fulfilled, that someday a version of her stronger and taller than she’d imagined her Asian genes were able to grow her, would stand in a man’s house while she caned him. And that he would allow her willingly, without the use of blackmail or bribing needed (which my nine year old self assumed would provide an opportunity for her to spank boys of her age.) Little Kali didn’t know why she wanted a man to spank her so badly, yet felt both desire and extreme embarassment, anger and disgust at the thought of her mother spanking her. But now I know the answer – my younger self was instinctively not incestuous, and perhaps also not bisexual.

Sometimes, reading those books, I feel like I’ve travelled back to that point as Little Kali; I’m still virginal, still filled with lust, still endlessly waiting. The only difference is, I have more hope that these fantasies will be fulfilled and I know I’m not the only one with them.

Lost years, wasted chances for losing my virginity. So many wasted chances. But I knew those men weren’t the one. That I would save myself for something special, for a kinky night of untamed lust and wild depravity. For that special someone. And now my God has given me to him. I have been rewarded for my chastity with £8,000.

I believe that some things are meant to happen; some people are meant for us to meet. That some ideas or goals we have are not from ourselves, but we have them so we can fulfil particular goals and what’s meant to happen can happen. Say you’re meant to meet your future partner in Mexico. But how can you meet them without having an idea or wish to travel, or to go on an exchange, or become an international student at a Mexican univesity, or to accept a job in Mexico?

Yeah, I know that belief is flawed from the ground up and I can think of two objections right off the bat; there are obviously many more objections on grounds of logic and the desirability – indeed, the risks – of such a belief system. But it’s what I think, and I make no pretensions as to its acceptibility.

So, although I thank the Universe for granting my wish to sell virginity and giving me the greatest gift I culd recieve, the only thing I have ever really wanted, and certainly the most meaningful thing I have desired; even as I thank the Universe, I wonder if, really, I should – if the fact that I wanted to sell my virginity wasn’t a predestined wish so that I eventually would sell my virginity. Perhaps before we’re born we know the main things that will happen in our lives. Maybe that’s why we have those wishes, because we know that’s what we’re meant to do. (Though obviously some wishes just come from our experiences, upbringing or culture. They’re the ones that don’t come true).

My belief gives me comfort, of course; I know that if I’m outed by a journo or Roland is violent to me that it was all meant to happen. I believe Brooke was meant to be forced to reveal her identity, and that her books were meant to be published. This means that laws are meant to be, too; if journalists were subject to better human rights laws they may not have been able to stalk Brooke enough that they’d find out her identity; or even if they did, they might not have been able to reveal her identity. You see why I’m not a fan of popularising this “it was all meant to be” belief – because you could justify any law, political action or crime by saying “it was meant to be.” (Though if all society believed everything was predestined, and justified laws accordingly, this disaster would, of course, be meant to be…) Heh heh.

Still, I thank the universe almost every day.

I feel even more fulfilled and happy since I began my prostitution. It gives even more meaning to my life, as does this blog. I feel at peace, and that is a new feeling. I also experience feelings of validation, self-love, great strength and power, as well as feelings of accomplishment and self-actualisation. It is incredible, and brings me joy and feelings of what I can only describe as honour or ‘glory’, though I’m not sure why. I am no good at analysing my own feelings, nor those of others; I can very easily pick up on what someone else is feeling but I’ll be at a loss to say why they’re feeling it. As for why I feel the way I do, that’s even more of a mystery. Emotions are inconveniences – at least that’s what I was taught as a child.

As for Little Kali, her kinks and fetishes are no different from mine. My sexuality was fully developed as a nine year old, a fact which matches the experiences of gay and trans people who typically claim to have felt that way since a very young age, often much younger than I was. Some parents also claim to have known their children were lesbian or gay from when they were toddlers.

At the age of 12 or 13, I casually picked up a teen fiction book – one of a series, this book was called ‘The Apprentice’, I think -in WH Smith at Glasgow Queen Street Station. The blurb on the back was about an imprisoned serial killer who, at night in bed, senses the presence of one of his own kind running around killing. He calls to me. He is one of my own kind. The killer decides to break out to join the other killer. Lying there in the dark, [imagining or dreaming of killing and the blood] and wake up, my cold imbs suffused in the sweat of sexual excitement… I put the book back. That last sentence – which may actually have been the first sentence I read – had described me perfectly. At age 12 or 13, I understood that my murder fantasies were sexual – I just knew, though I didn’t think spanking or pants-pooping was sexual. Was I destined to become a serial killer? I did sometimes fantasise about prowling the streets at night as a huntress, spanking, beating and murdering men, seeing them bleed, their mouths open. Making my blade dance over their bodies, punching their faces. Stabbing them in the heart. Slashing their throat. And drinking their blood of course. But now I know that being kinky isn’t the same as being sadistic. I am not doomed to be a killer. And serial killers are never kinky; they do not do BDSM with their partners. I don’t worry about murdering Roland in a fit of lust. I just worry about accidentally hurting his delicate, fragile body through overexcitement. But I won’t; I value him too much (£6,000) to put a scratch on Magda’s most prized piece of ass.

Back then, I was reading these books and fantasising about boys getting spanked, and about myself being spanked by a man and spanking boys. And now I’m reading them again and I’m still a virgin, but experiencing all this spanking at long last. If I was 11 when I read this particular book, another 11 years has now elapsed. Time goes full circle and then after much struggle there is a happy ending. Like The Starlight Crystal.

 

 

 

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BDSM Bella: The knife, the needle and the newbie

So, there’s me on the floor in this big room giving my first blowjob and discovering that far from feeling disgust, I actually enjoy it! It was so much fun seeing the effect I was having on him! It made me feel powerful, and for a moment I fantasised that I could control Roland’s reactions, thoughts and senses completely.

After about 15 or 20 minutes, I told him I couldn’t breathe properly and needed a break. He said that I was good. This made me very happy. I was curious about his cock, it seemed very rubbery to me, like Matt’s. I pressed it in places and moved it around; it surprised me that I could move it to all angles, straight up or to either side, very easily without hurting him.

Growing up, I’d always believed that urine and semen came out of the same hole. But, knowing that they were two different tubes, I had sometimes wondered if they wouldn’t have two separate openings, one nearer to the underside, maybe. I’d never had an opportunity to check either theory, as with Matt it had been outside in the dark and the first time in Roland’s company office I hadn’t been paying attention. As I was moving it up, I asked “where’s the other hole?” and he goes, “What other hole?” so I explained and he said there was only one; two tubes opening into one hole. I said that was disgusting because urine particles might get mixed with semen on ejaculation. I said women were much more hygienically designed; he seemed to agree. He chuckled and said “Well, I’m glad I could give you an anatomy lesson.” I continued to feel and squish different bits of Roland experimentally. It was all new to me. I also wanted to see if the underside of balls had hair, and how hard you could squeeze them, and how they felt when you squashed them or rolled them in your fingers. Roland seemed amused by this exploration; having never been with a virgin, he must never have had a woman experiment like that.

I thought it was quite fascinating, and I got down on all fours and pounced on his thing for a bit, batting it with my hand, doing each pounce from a different spot. It was so much fun!

“You’re like a little cat,” he said, “Come back over here.”

Dunno what happened next, but after a bit we were talking about shaving (why don’t men shave their balls, razors vs waxing) and I said I plucked hairs out of my legs and it’s called trichotillomania and I hate being medicalized as I just do it for fun. I said I go Brazillian because it’s easier as I pluck out so much hair from my pubic area, and he said if I want I could pluck hairs from his balls, and I plucked two, which didn’t hurt him but didn’t satisfy me because the hairs were too long. I only pluck short hairs. I also prefer thick, gel-like white roots or black, sticky roots – not dry small yellow/white roots or no visible roots.

Then I lifted his cock upright, took a needle off the tray. However, when I asked Roland if I put it down the hole as an experiment to see what would happen, he was not keen – even though, if I had dropped it down the hole, he could have urinated it out. Or put his thing in the ‘down’ position so it would fall out. I was all, ‘pleeease?‘ with my best puppy-dog expression, but he wouldn’t budge. He seemed to find it amusing. He said I couldn’t use the needles but I could use the knife. I needed no further encouragement!

I laid the knife against his chest and took it on its glinting dance down to his groin. I was moving its flat side over his balls (at one point he was all ‘owww oww that isn’t flat – HAHA hilarious!) and up and down his cock. After a bit I stretched myself up as far as I could go while kneeling and kissed him, pushing my tongue into his mouth as I held the blade against his cock. Our tongues writhed and fought and mated like snakes, and my hand was caressing the blade against his flesh.

The above paragraph is in bold because it was my favourite moment of my selling virginity adventure (so far).

Of course, then I just had to make a teeny cut. Roland wouldn’t let me cut, or use the needle to pierce him. He wanted to see me pierce myself, and I attempted to pierce my inner labia but the needle wouldn’t go through. Then he changed his mind and decided that he would try it.

He used the needle to try and pierce his cock to draw blood, and we were trying for ages but it didn’t work. He said that piercing or cutting the skin wouldn’t even draw blood; it needs to be a bigger cut.

“Well, let’s pretend it draws blood,” I said, pretending to stab him, laying the knife aside, applying a smidgen of reddish sauce to the ‘cut’ and saying, “So, you’re bleeding now.” Then I sucked off the sauce. Roland went, “You are a vampire!” as if it was somehow a little bit surprising; I thought I’d given him plenty of clues. And there’s loads of vampires in society, if the internet and vampire porn is any indicator.

I put on more sauce and gave him another blowjob, then I asked if he wanted to spank me again. Soon I was once more over his lap.

 

 

 

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Finally…photos!

Well, my faithful followers, it looks like you’re in luck! I have decided to post some photos for your viewing pleasure. The small print: no, neither me or Roland feature in these photos…sorry. But here they are:

I just found this a few hours ago while tidying my room – it’s Roland’s Post-it Note message that he sent along with a cheque for just over £12.00 for doing a spanking drawing commission on Gumtree. I charged £10 per drawing, and he sent a little to cover postage, which was nice of him. I got the idea to do commissions from Animeotk.com, a spanking art/forum site where I was given artist status and a gallery, and some other artists on the site would get commissions.

“Hi Kalika, Thank you for completing my commission. I look forward to seeing it 🙂 Here is £10 fee + something for postage, Roland.”

And the brush:

 

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A long spanking

Roland made me lie over his lap on the sofa, in my favourite position. He lifted my navy and cream dress and pulled my tights down a bit, and of course I was in heaven. Then he just started spanking me, lightly, with the wooden dog brush I’d brlought. It was very relaxing and therapeutic. He was talking to me sometimes, I can’t remember what he said. His voice was measured and calm, like always.

“You can do it harder,” I said, and the smacks suddently fell heavier with a bigger slap/thud sound. After a while it began to sting and I shifted a fraction. Roland continued to paddle me much harder than the other times, and I sometimes moved my legs a little because of the pain. Then he made me pull my dress off, saying “Queen Tut was naked when she got spanked.”

“Well, her bum was naked, but she had clothes on,” I said.

“It’s the same thing,” said the CEO of the company I’m not allowed to name. (What a classy gentleman). “And let’s get rid of these as well,” he said, pulling off my tights. One thing I’ve noticed about this particular sex maniac is that he likes to undress me progressively instead of all at once.

He let me keep my bra on, for some reason. (I was wearing red and black underwear and bra; usually I wear red, sometimes black, occassionally prints in brown, cream or gold colours – not that it’s of any consequence since nobody ever sees it except Roland).

The brush seemed to hurt more now; maybe he was smacking much harder. Roland twisted my arm over my back because I kept trying to deflect the brush and rub; I liked that a lot. He tried out the different implements, saying “this is the spoon – and this is the other side of the spoon – now which do you prefer?” and “that’s the flogger, last time you said this was your favourite.” He took a few experimental swings, although I doubt he could swing very well sitting down.

It seemed like a short time but we probably did this for an hour or two (by the way, it was 2am before we attempted to go to bed and we were doing spanking stuff the whole time from about 7:30pm, which means I’m not as expensive as Roland claims because I was his prostitute for about either 7 or 8 hours, including the studio stuff, so it’d be a rate of either £150 (approx) or £125 an hour which is average price.) So he definetly got more bang for the buck that time. Heh. Anyway if he ever says my price is high again, I will point this out to him. It’s just a matter of him using his time with me constructively and making me stay for more hours.

Then Roland went to change the music which was pumping out in surround sound from his laptop to a playlist of songs about naughty girls, and I went to the bathroom and looked smugly at my reflection, just very happy (I’ve heard Ana spends a lot of time staring in the mirror in 50 Shades; I hope this blog isn’t becoming like the trilogy. But I don’t think it is, because I have my own agenda, motives, kinks, hobbies and character-specific skills, unlike Ana who is pulled into BDSM by Christian and just does whatever he says (with or without endless agonizing beforehand). And Roland isn’t an abusive, controlling stalker with feelings of shame about being kinky.

We had more coffee. Then the spanking resumed to the Scissor Sisters’ ‘Filthy Gorgeous’, Beyonce’s ‘Naughty Girl’, Sting and The Police’s ‘Roxanne’, Ciara’s ‘Love and Sex and Magic’ and the Pussycat Dolls’ ‘When I Grow Up’. Though I would also think Queen’s ‘Fat Bottomed Girls’, R Kelly’s Ignition/remix to Ignition (songs I’ve always loved, as it is actually the way I think about boys), Your Sex is On Fire,  and (from my point of view, and not necesarily about naughty girls/girls who should be spanked) Big Brovaz’s ‘Favourite Things’,  Gwen Stefani’s ‘Rich Girl’, Lady Marmalade,  R Kelly’s The World’s Greatest, Mika’s Love Today, Nelly Furtado’s Promiscuous Girl, The Bad Boys (are always catching my eye), The Fratellis’ Everybody Knows You Cried Last Night, Shakira’s She Wolf, were also appropriate…should I just Google phrases like ‘naughty girl’, ‘naughty boy’, ‘pervert’, ‘prostitute’ ‘slut’ and ‘spanking’ with the word ‘lyrics’??

Although who knows, maybe all those songs were on the playlist; how would I know? In the state of lust I’m barely aware of anything, though Roland seems capable of thinking clearly when in heat. I certainly can’t.

Roland spanked me for a long time with the spoon, brush and a paddle, and got me naked. He then bent me over a footstool or coffee table to whack me a few times with the flogger, then over the arm of the sofa. The fire was burning in the fireplace with no guard; it was beautiful. […]take me home tonight/Ooh down beside your red firelight…I like fire. Then he said it was time for me to be tortured/interrogated into revealing 5 things, and if I revealed them I’d have to give him a blowjob. It’d been my idea and I was pretty confident, a confidence that was to prove completely unfounded…COMING UP: more spanking, caning, anal toy, knife play, attempted vampirism, other weird random stuff…

 

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I take the ‘vampire test’

I just found this vampire test online from a truly stupid site that claims vampires exist. (I was looking for BDSM vampirism, which is a kink I discovered I possess the moment after I tried to cut Roland’s penis and drink a little of his blood. Anyway, this site may be ludicrously stupid and medically flawed, but it’s still not as stupid or harmful as the verbal stylings of the likes of Santorum or Rick Perry. So, here is the site’s vampire test and me answering the questions in bold like [this]:

The sole purpose of this page is to help you figure out if you are a real vampire or not. This is to be used with the finding a real vampire page on this site. After all if you don’t recognize yourself as a real vampire then you aren’t a real vampire. All of the traits below are accurate for more than half of all real vampires. All real vampires have at least 85% of them, in other words if at least 85% of them don’t apply to you then you are not a vampire. Assuming that you are a real vampire, the fact that so many of these traits are accurate for you may shock you.
Those are the traits that I am saying are 95% so that I don’t rule any real vampires out that the traits may not be accurate for. If you are convinced that you are a real vampire, yet have few to none of these traits you really need to read up on a term that is known as enabling and stop claiming to be one. You could even seem to have all of them but there is still no guarantee that you are a real vampire.
Copyright 2005 Steve Leighton, copying without permission is forbidden by law, and will result in a DMCAreport being filed against you and sent to your domain provider or to the owner of where ever you posted your copy of this vampire website.


“I didn’t draw blood at first, but I did get an overwhelming feeling”

If you can relate to that quote don’t waste your time reading any farther because you are definitely not a real vampire. You are, on the other hand, a classic case of Reinfeld’s Syndrome.

  • 1. Do you have unusually pale skin? You don’t have to be white to be pale. [Yes]If yes then cook up one or two (depending on the size) medium rare steaks (the best way to do this) If, by the time you’re done enjoying the second one, you have a new pinkish color throughout your body that you haven’t had in a while, read no farther; you are a real vampire. Humans can’t digest blood let alone get color from it, real vampires do.
    NOTE: The extra work involved in trying to eat medium rare or rare meat can cause a temporary pink color to the skin which is otherwise known as being flushed. Temporarily being flushed is not the color that is being referred to when a vampire gets color from the blood in the steak. It takes a lot less human blood than animal blood to get the same effect but animal blood is way easier to get.) If you were white before and still are you should see a doctor. Odds are you aren’t a real vampire, you’re just malnourished, and they can help.
  • Have you ever been told by professionals that you’re lucky you survived an accident with only a few scratches or cuts? [Yes…but so have many people]
  • Are you a naturally strong magic/energy user self-taught or self-realized? [????]
  • As a kid, were you the strongest, smartest, or quickest kid in the class, and at around 16 years of age maybe all 3? [Yes, so? Lots of kids are top of the class or strong, and I excercised a lot by climbing in parks, walking in the Highlands with my mum, skipping, swimming, climbing trees…]
  • Did your dad disappear from your life while you were at a young age? [Yes…but that’s quite common and I’m sure there can’t be THAT many vampires around!]
  • (NOTE: 52% of vampires out of a large range of vampires have answered yes to this question. This includes people who believe they are real vampires however may not really be one.) Click for one theory on how this is vampire related: The Truth about the ”Vampire Community”.
  • Do people often tell you that you look very young for your age, or that they would have never guessed how old you are? [I look younger now, but used to look older. But my family all look young so it’s simple genetics. Or are we ALL vampires??]
  • Are you extremely energetic at night but around the time the sun comes up become extremely tired? [YES, most definetely! I even have to write most of my poetry at night and blog at night, or it wouldn’t be good.]
  • Are you a slightly quicker healer than most, if not a much quicker healer? [Dunno. I never let injuries stop me, and don’t fuss ovder cuts so I’ve no idea.]
  • Do you have an unusually high tolerance to alcohol and other poisons/toxins? [Alcohol – I can take 11-12 drinks without getting drunk. Poisons – don’t know.]
  • Do you tend to switch between very social and antisocial frequently? [No, never. Not even in my teen years. It’s called hormones, being moody or mild bipolar disorder.]
  • Do you rarely get sick, or when you get sick does your body recovers quicker than most people? [Yes, most definetly. However, that’s because I excercised a lot as a child/teen and eat a lot of fresh meat and fish. Optimistic people get sick rarely, and I’m extremely optimistic. I also take hair vitamins now.]
  • Are your six senses more enhanced than most other peoples, i.e. vision, hearing, touch, smell, taste, and intuition? [Very much, especially smell and hearing; however my vision is actually not good at all]
  • Do you have extremely good vision in the dark? How many times has some one said it’s too dark they can’t see while you were doing something like reading? [Yes, it’s been commented on; and 0 times, it’s not THAT good!]
  • Do you tend to NOT be surprised or scared by the typical sudden loud noise in a movie or things like that because you sensed it coming? [Yes; definetly]
  • Do you tend to react to things like catching a falling object or other normally unexpected things at an almost psychic speed? (As if you were expecting it to happen)? [debatable]
  • Do you tend to get a high from human blood? [Sometimes – it depends it what context. Someone gets a cut? Ewww, gross, don’t get it on my sleeve!! Blood sprays everywhere in a film? Yummy, let me at it!]When drinking someone’s blood do you tend to find yourself being able to do something that they could do (that you couldn’t do) about 2 weeks after drinking it? [How would this be because of the blood? Blood is broken down by the digestive tract, that’s why you probably can’t catch HIV by drinking it! Blood is just red blood cells and plasma, it doesn’t have any magical quality/life force!]
  • Are you sensitive to light [yes] or the heat from it? [no, I like heat and easily get cold] (Ranging from getting a bad headache from the glare to burning very easily.)
  • If, while your skin is white from lack of enough blood in you, do you bleed quite noticeably less than a person normally should, or more likely not bleed at all? [no]
  • Are your nails clear like glass, yet very strong?  [no, they actually break easily and so don’t grow super-long without the hair vitamins. Even with the vitamins, they still break easily.]
  • Is your bedroom the coldest and darkest room in the house? [yes, so what?]
  • According to multiple news articles easily found online, older adults can’t hear this sound. So far I haven’t found someone over 36 who is a non-vamp that can. click to try to hear it. Warning: if you can hear it, it will be loud. (ALWAYS FOLLOW THE WARNINGS ON THIS WEBSITE) My reference: yahoo homepage/news 6-21-06, and testing it on friends . [didn’t try this]
  • A legitimate Vampire is able to safely digest more than 600% of the daily recommended amount of iron (RDA is 18mg. 600% of RDA is 108mg) when in the form of blood. (ALWAYS READ THE WARNINGS ON THIS SITE!)
  • How often do you look at the person that almost bumped (or bumped) into you and think “you idiot” or “people are so stupid” because they didn’t know you were only a couple feet away from them, because you always know when someone is that close to you? (Which, when you think about it, you only know because you can sense when someone is that close to you). [Yes, I can ‘sense’ people near me, but in my experience, most people can. And most people including me can sense someone staring at them.]
  • Do you always feel a strong urge to travel? [YESS!! Constantly, every day.]

  • How often does something smell so strong that you can literally taste it, whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing? (NOTE: When most people say it smells so strong that they can taste it they only say it as a figure of speech. And the people that agree with you when you say it rarely can taste it. Think I’m wrong? Ask them yourself!) [All the time, which is normal as the nose and mouth are connected and, if you hold your nose, you can’t tell the difference between chocolate and coffee.]
  •  Can you hear a whisper from across a room? [sometimes; so can everyone]

  • Is there a dark colored ring around the iris (color part) of your eyes? All real vampires have this, however not everyone that has it is a real vampire.  [dunno]
  • Is there a noticeably different color surrounding the pupil? (Inner part of the color of your eyes.)  [dunno]
  •  Do the words “come on outside, it’s a nice bright sunny day, and there’s a lot of people out,” seem more like a bad thing than a good thing to you, as opposed to the guy who said it to you, saying it with a big happy smile? [No, I love sunny days and lots of people having fun! That’s a symptom of depression, or of being an emo or a goth.]

  • Regardless of how normal you may consider yourself to be, do you tend to meet a lot of weird people that you quite often hit it off with relatively frequently? (Keep in mind, normal is just a politically correct term for people that have no creativity. And definitely is NOT something to be proud of calling yourself). [I’m not normal, most people aren’t. There’s a lot of weirdness beneath everybody’s surface.]
  • Do you have a predator instinct that is so strong that it makes most people seem to act more like herbivores than the omnivores they consider themselves to be?  [dunno]
  •  Does sunlight/bright light in general hurt your eyes and head, in most cases to the point of a migraine? (But you can still go out in it). See point 17. [No]

  • Do electrical appliances generally tend to hate you? (Watches mess up often, computers malfunction for no reason, etc). [Yes, consistently]

  •  Are your dreams often extremely vivid and sometimes result in cases of déjàvu? [Very frequently]
  • Do people often find you very empathetic to how they feel? [No. Especially if they’re feeling sad. I can tell if someone is feeling sad, but I can’t always tell why, especially if I consider it to be attention-whoring, being oversensitive or immature, etc.]

  • Do people usually either trust you completely or not trust you at all? [No. It’s usually in-between].

  •  When you will things to happen do they usually happen? [Yes.]

  •  Does your mood have an obvious effect on the mood of others around you? Only count this if it happens to the people that can’t see you. (Especially on babies and animals like cats). [dunno]

Click Here To Find Places Where You Can Meet Others Like You. For those of you who want to try to feel important by poking holes in this list Read this first and don’t waste your breath trying, because I know I’m right. This list only applies to vampires that need blood aka the only real kind of vampire, and your belief isn’t required nor do I care if you disagree with me. For those that wonder how I know I’m a vampire, or are asking themself who is this guy to judge me, this is how I know that I am a vampire.

Do you really need me to ask you more of these questions? All of these can be passed off as just a coincidence, although how many coincidences can happen at the same time for the same person? Synchronicity a word coined by DR. Carl Jung, which basically states that it is not just a mere coincidence for something like that to happen.
Yes all of these can be explained but for all of them to happen to one person, as well as the fact that they are all vampiric traits should make you wonder. Not to mention, if you only knew how many people that think they are vampires, give me hell because they don’t have any of these traits. Those people really should learn about something known as enabling and not complain to me about it. You would really think twice on the fact that as a vampire, you take these for granted. The only reason why I haven’t listed all the people and their statements on it is because regardless of what they think or tell me I really don’t care. Real vampires have had awakenings because of this page and wannabe vampires have bitched and complained to me about this page. All in all it is helping vampires and that is all that matters to me.

 I dunno if I got 85%. I think this guy has stumbled on a medical condition where many individuals find that all of these traits are linked. I share quite a lot of these traits too; I think it is a medical or biological condition, or natural human variation. The traits are connected – having more energy at night of course relates to better night vision, which is connected to superior five senses, including sensing people standing behind you. This could be due to an evolutionary advantage of having some people awake at night to look out for predators. I frequently stay up all night when it’s not term time, going to sleep at 5am or 6am. This is the most natural sleep pattern for me. I’m also more creative/awake at night. All my blog posts have been posted between midnight and 5am. However I don’t think it’s because I am a vampire, it’s just natural human variation, or a possible undiscovered medical condition.

 
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Posted by on August 6, 2012 in Spanking/BDSM

 

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