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Life between the parallel lines

In the mid-1800s, the virgin/whore dichotomy was at its most extreme, which meant one simple social rule: there was a line drawn on the ground, and if you crossed it you were no longer a virgin – you were a ruined woman, a whore. These (slightly) more enlightened times have brought more freedom to women (and men) but paradoxically the rules, for women, are now harder to follow.

This is because there is now another line – you can’t be “frigid” or a virgin. You have to date, you have to have a boyfriend, but at the same time you can’t step over that other line into glorious slutdom. You’re trapped, between the parallel lines.

The contested space between the lines is most overtly expressed in high school. If you’re percieved as too close to one line, you’re frigid, ugly, a lesbian, a snob, a virgin, a girl who can’t get a man. Yet step too close to that other line and you’re a slut, a whore, cheap, easy, a ho, skank, slag, or nasty girl. And the lines aren’t only present in high school; they’re prevalent everywhere.

In offices and families and friendship groups everywhere, women are trying to fit into that little space between the lines. Your colleagues might not yell “Slut!” at you or snicker that you’ll “die a virgin” but they can gossip behind you. Your relatives might moan that you’re still single or frown when you tell them you’ve got a new man (or more than one man). And a lot of us are familiar with the feeling of not being able to keep up with our friends who somehow effortlessly lay man after man, yet wonder how they’ll judge our own behaviour when we finally do get up the nerve to do something adventurous.

For those who are abstinent, there is pressure to “do it the world’s way”. Yet the world which seems so liberal to the abstinents is often judgemental and rejecting to polyamorous or kinky women – or even simply women who regularly have NSA sex.

So, whether you’re abstinent or polyamorous (or both!), maybe it’s time to fly upwards – out of that confined space between the painted lines on the ground. They are only paint, after all.

 
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Posted by on October 3, 2012 in Feminism

 

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Chastity’s blog post

“No vows, no sex”

Hello, this is me writing as Chastity White, a right-wing nutjob. I’m here to tell you why just the women you all should be abstinent. By the way, Kalika is not the only virginal slut/slutty virgin. Check out these other abstinent whores…I mean, totally serious photos that prove my points. If you believe in any other so-called religion that is obviously from the devil, leave now stay and be indoctrinated, you disgusting heathens.

“True love waits”

Women can make it easier for themselves to be abstinent by denying their femininty and degrading their sexuality. We must allow ourselves to be dominated by men, and wear underwear that expresses our dads’ possession of us as a commodity valuable only for our hymen.

Daddy owns me. Daddy’s a gun-wielding, violent maniac who’d murder his own daughter’s boyfriend, and he OWNS me. Help. Please. Child Protection servies? Anyone?

Another good tip is to be on your guard against impure thoughts. Never let a man have sexual contact with you – it’s your fault if he does, because you let him. Women are the guardians of sex and it’s our job to tell him no. It’s not his job to tell us no, or to control himself. If you don’t tell him no, that’s a shame on you but fame for him, because boys should have as many girls as they can. Their virginity is worthless but yours is priceless. This is all non-negotiable because it just is. It’s not even in the Bible, but let’s act like  it’s in the Bible and the laws of our country all at the same time.

Your virginity is your gift. It’s the greatest gift you have – worth way more than your intelligence, personality, good character, hard work, sports achievements, degree(s), religious or political beliefs…

Another argument is that this is all for your own good. Women get hurt by sex but men don’t. This is true for 100% of women and men even in vastly different cultures and historical periods. It’s just as true for homosexuals and trans people. The reason why women get hurt is that we are inferior to men and have a chemical called oxytocin that releases when we chat to friends or have sex; it makes us feel happy. Somehow, that interferes with our ability to not get emotions all mixed up with sex. Men don’t have this chemical or any similar chemical of course. That’s why men don’t have any friends. Obviously. And why men can separate emotions and sex; this separation is the reason why men don’t have committed relationships or get married. Only women ever enter committed relationships, because women fall in love whenever they have sex, and also they want commitment – men never want commitment, of course.

The hymen/corona is of sacred importance. Everything else is okay because it is the non-existent hymen that is symbolic. We know it’s actually called the corona, which never gets ‘broken’ and the ‘hymen’ is just a myth, but WE DON’T CARE. Seriously. So fuck off, liberals.

When you are abstinent, it is of paramount importance to comport yourself in a decent fashion. The abstinence cult doesn’t harm women in any way, or perpetuate the double standard at all. In fact, giving Daddy complete control over his daughter’s sexual choices in a purity ball or purity pledge is actually empowering for his daughter – even though girls as young as four are forced into these pledges. After all, what could be more self-actualising and healthy than letting Daddy decided who you date, and giving Daddy a key until the day you get married and he gives that key to your husband, symbolising the key to your heart and your virginity? This is very progressive behaviour and not barbaric or repressive at all. And although the fact that boys aren’t made to attend purity balls and pledge their virginity to their mothers, that doesn’t mean that we care more about female virginity than male virginity…it doesn’t…honest!!!! As to why Mommy isn’t the natural guardian of her daughter’s virginity, as she has of course gone through the same temptations and understands the urges and hormonal upheavals a young girl has to face, well…Mommy can’t guard her daughter’s heart. It’s Daddy’s job. After all, Mommy is just a woman…she doesn’t have a penis, which of course means she can’t be trusted with anything. Just look at the wonderful regimes in Iran and Saudi Arabia – they know the score. Just because some women – and men- in those countries vehemently oppose the laws and campaign for gender equality doesn’t mean the governments aren’t totally right. We should use their example in our own society by not having a separation of church and state. That way, we could have abstinence indoctrination – sorry, I mean education – in ALL schools, not just some. Then the virgins will be virgins and the sluts will get pregnant and be shamed by the community as they won’t be allowed contraception or abortion (in my ideal universe). The women would have only two choices: which will you be, slut or virgin? No grey areas, just black and white – if you’re not a virgin, you’re a slut. The boys can do what they like, of course, boys are naturally meant to have lots of sex. And everyone would be a repressed conservative and worship the government.

Women are of course passive and asexual, and we don’t have a right to anything more.

 

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The 7 Nights (chapter 1)

I wrote this over a year ago, never dreaming I’d find my own special Roland pervert! And real-Roland is an improvement over fictional-Roland because he’s rich! He’s also much more kind than fictional-Roland.

Chapter 1

The sun was emerging from behind the clouds when Roland pulled back the curtain. Roland was gorgeous – he had black hair that rippled down to curls below his broad shoulders, olive skin and large deep-set dark eyes over high cheekbones. His full lips curved in a soft smile. Today was a special day. Chastity White would arrive from Mississippi at any moment, and Roland would be babysitting her for six days. Chastity was twenty, but her dad was very overprotective of his only child and would never dream of leaving her alone at home while he was on tour preaching. Chastity’s mom was a missionary and wouldn’t be home for months. For six days and seven nights, Chastity would know only this suburban two-bedroom house. Roland smirked in anticipation of what was to come. He had plans for her.

A soft knock made itself heard. Roland smirked again as he calmly strolled over to the door, unlocked it, and saw her for the first time in months. Her blue eyes widened and she smiled instantly, a child’s smile. She was beautiful, even without make-up and dressed in frumpy clothing as always, her long blonde hair hanging loosely over her shoulders, a gold cross dangling from her neck. Chastity had porcelain skin, a great figure and a kid’s fringe, her breasts hidden by a pink mohair sweater, legs encased in loose high-waisted jeans. She was wearing pink sneakers that looked new.
.Roland’s eye was drawn, as always, to the cheap red ring on her ring finger. It looked out of place, especially as Chastity usually wore quality. But Roland was one of the few people in the UK who understood the significance of the little plastic circle: it was an abstinence ring, a promise ring, and it meant that Chastity had taken a public vow of abstinence,  a sacred oath to God not to have sex until the plastic ring was exchanged for a gold ring on her wedding day – and that night, Chastity would fuck. Her years or even decades of inhibition would be rewarded, and she would mate like a rabid whore, all the years of sexual repression having spawned the most depraved urges.

“Oh Roland! How sweet of you to have me,” she squealed, beaming and smiling her pristine, sincere smile that made Roland picture all the other things he would make her do with her mouth, her innocent, pure lips that had never even touched alcohol or coffee. And yes, he was going to have her.

“The pleasure’s all mine, babe. C’mon, I’ll take your stuff upstairs, would you like a bite to eat? I can whip up some pasta.”

“Thank you, Roland,” she replied in her soft, breathy little voice, “You really are too kind.”

The pasta was cooking nicely. Roland pulled out his mortar and pestle, grinding four laxative tablets into a yellow powder. His heart was pounding; he was almost shaking with terror or ecstasy, he couldn’t tell which. He sprinkled the powder into the saucepan, adding spices and plenty of salt and pepper. Next, Roland poured out the lemonade and laced Chastity’s with diuretics. The water in the saucepan was starting to boil. With trembling fingers he turned off the cooker, took the lemonades to the table, and a few minutes later called out to Chastity that lunch was ready. Was that really his voice, sounding so controlled, so calm? Chastity ambled into the kitchen, even her walk was oh so prim and proper. But all that was about to change! Soon she would be embarrassed, her whiter-than-white cheeks flaming red as she uncontrollably  pissed in her prissy Southern jeans.

Roland felt his cock stiffening as she sat down in her still-dry jeans, completely trusting in him. Roland had a large package, and his lovely, thick member was slowly standing to attention. His penis was gorgeous, all shiny pink and veined, and Roland could picture it as he rubbed its head through his black jeans. He wanted to take it all hot in his hand and reassure it that it would have some action soon. Soon, he whispered to his hard-on, soon. Be patient.

“How was your flight?” he asked, marvelling at how light and airy his voice was.
Chastity twined some pasta around her fork. “Oh, it was fine, quite pleasant, really. I prayed for daddy’s mission to go well, it will, of course, but I always pray.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’ll go well. Your dad’s a really respected preacher, isn’t he? And it’s the Lord’s will, baby.”
They ate in companiable silence for a while. Roland was pitching a large tent in his jeans. When was she going to wet herself? The tension was almost unbearable.
“So, how’s life?” he said vaguely. Chastity toyed with her fork before pouting, “I don’t regret not going to college. It was the right decision, you know how much I’ve always wanted to be a missionary like mummy and daddy. I don’t need any qualifications for that. And someone else got to go to college in my place when I turned my place down.”
“Chastity, you’re a beautiful intelligent girl. You made the choice that’s right for you, and your gossipy friends can’t tell you what’s right for you. You’ll be a great missionary, I know it.”
Their eyes met, and she gently squeezed his wrist. Then a look of fear came into her face.
“Oh no, I have to pee!” she squealed, jumping up. She took two steps, crossed her legs and leaned forward. Suddenly something inside her slipped out of her control. her bladder let loose the muscle that was holding back her piss. Chastity peed her pants. She grabbed her crotch but it was too late – her mouth had gone dry and her pants had gone wet. A flood of piss poured into her panties as her bladder instantly deflated. Chastity gasped out loud – she had completely lost control. She piddled. She widdled. She peed and she weed. She was really doing it. She was peeing her panties. Warm piss flooded her thin cotton panties, seeping over her bottom. She squealed and clutched the front of her jeans, desperately trying to regain control of her rapidly emptying bladder. But it was too late. Chastity’s pants were completely drenched. She blushed bright red as she saw a damp blotch blooming over her lap. Roland was getting a full view of her peeing accident! “Ohhhhhh…oh no- no, no…” Chastity whimpered, clasping her crotch as the wet spot spread.  “Oooh…oooops… I’m wetting my pants, I’m doing a pee in my panties!” The spot on her lap dampened into a soaked patch. She crossed her legs and looked down at her drenched jeans. She watched in silent horror as the soaked blotch spread across her lap and the inside of her leg darkened. Chastity bent further, squeezing her legs together to keep the hot urine from streaming out, but the piss continued pouring out of her deflating bladder. Chastity closed her eyes in shame. She felt wee trickling down her thighs. She crossed her legs. She even crossed her fingers. Frantically she twisted her hands in her lap. Her  deflating bladder was letting her wee all pour out in a warm rush.  She got that warm feeling down below. she just stood there wetting her pants all the way through. She began to cry with embarrassment, the terrible humiliation of losing control of her pee while a boy was watching every squirt. The huge torrent of hot pent-up pee unleashed all over herself, she was emptying my bladder all down her legs. Warm wet wee was going down her legs. She just couldn’t stop peeing.  She started to cry as she realised she had completely lost control; she was going to keep wetting herself until her bladder was completely empty and there was nothing she could do about it. She was wet through. So warm. All wet. Swamping her jeans, the splattering down her legs becoming a stream, now a deluge. She stumbled away from Roland, trying to get to a bathroom, but Roland was prepared. Not for nothing had he spent the past two weeks feverishly scribbling his plans for her, The Seven Nights. Roland gripped her wrist. “Naughty sissygirls who go peepee in their panties don’t get to go to the big girls’ bathroom. They have to pee their pants…not that you’re able to stop pissing yourself anyway.”

Chastity was still sobbing and peeing right into her panties. Squirts of pee spurted into her sneakers. Then she heard the drip, drip, drip. Chastity was dripping on the linoleum. How embarrassing! She was peeing right through her jeans! The drips became a trickle, then a stream of yellow piss splashing onto the floor. Then – oh the shame – she made a puddle. She made a yellow puddle on the floor like a naughty little girl. Roland’s eyes were watching the piss spraying out of her. Her  pee was on display for him to see. “Nonononono…oh no I’m pissing the floor! I’m making a puddle! I’m making a pee-puddle underneath me!” Slowly it pooled underneath her. She couldn’t believe she was standing in Roland’s kitchen relieving herself in her knickers right in front of him. She pressed her hands into her crotch, doubling over and slowly sinking into a half-crouch. “No, please…not a puddle…” She just went piiiiisssshhhh, all over her pants, her  jeans, the floor. Chastity could actually feel the pish running down her legs and splattering noisily all over the linoleum. Her trainers were filled with wee. She was pissing into her trainers, just standing in Roland’s kitchen with a steaming yellow puddle spreading round her sneakers. She knew she was a naughty girl, making a puddle of pee. Gradually, the last trickles drained out of her now empty bladder. Chastity found herself standing in a puddle, wet at both ends and wearing pissed-in jeans.
“Oh dear,” Chastity gasped, “I wet myself.”
“‘oh dear, I wet myself’? You just peed your pants and you’re saying, ‘oh dear I wet myself?’ Yes,” said Roland, “You just went wee-wee in your pants. Why did liddle Chastity wet her panties?”
Chastity’s face burned with shame. She just looked down at her drenched jeans and trainers full of pee. She looked at the puddle she’d made. Chastity was very aware that her knickers were wringing wet.

“Naughty widdle girls who go peepee deserve a spanking,” Roland announced. “Chastity, I’m going to spank you until your rear cheeks are as red as your front cheeks.”
Chastity’s hands flew to her damp behind. Her sobbing got louder. “No, Roland, please no! Not my butt! Please don’t spank my ass, I’ve never been spanked!”
Roland held her wrist as he moved his chair and sat. “You peed your panties like a little girl, so you’re getting spanked over my knee just like a little girl. Maybe that’ll teach you not to make lemonade in your knickers.”
He placed a tea towel over his lap so her piss wouldn’t get on his clothes.
“Please don’t spank me, I’ll never wet myself again, I promise!” she wailed, one hand hiding the sodden patch on the front of her jeans, the other protecting her backside . Roland patted her bum. “You won’t be able to sit on your arse when I’m finished giving it a good, old-fashioned bottom warming.” Chastity gulped. Her wet jeans suddenly felt very thin. “I’m so sorry, please not on my butt, it’ll be so embarrassing if you put me over your knee and smack my bottom.”

Roland looked into her blue eyes all wet with tears of humiliation. They were twin pools of terror, begging him not to spank her.

“You have totally pissed yourself. Your little ass needs a warm lesson across my  knee.”

Roland pulled the crying girl over his lap. Chastity went scarlet as she realised that she was over someone’s knee about to be spanked. Her bottom was tingling with anticipation of the smacks it was going to receive. Roland pulled off a pink sneaker and tipped the piss out of it. Chastity flushed with embarrassment as a pint of Chastity-pee poured onto the floor. Roland removed her other shoe and emptied the piddle out of it too. Then he raised his large hand and brought it crashing down on her trembling rear end.

“Oweee! My bummy!” she squealed, before another smack landed on the curve of her butt. Roland grinned as he gave the quivering rump another short, sharp shock to remind Chastity not to go pissing herself. Roland gave Chastity a hard smack on her butt and heard a whimper of pain. This was certainly going to be an education for Chastity’s bottom.

“Ow!” she yelped, “Roland -“. but Roland couldn’t have cared less. He delivered a flurry of spanks to the seat of her jeans, every stinging smack sending a fiery message to Chastity’s ass. Hard slaps rained down upon her jeans-clad butt, then a volley of firm smacks landed on her now stinging backside in quick succession.

“Roland! Please! I’m sorry!” Chastity sobbed. Roland swatted her bum over and over, until Chastity felt truly sorry for herself. She was sobbing and crying as Roland reached for an old wooden hairbrush, brought it down hard on Chastity’s trembling behind, and administered a sound bottom beating to her denim-clad ass, delivering a series of botty-trembling swats to the seat of her jeans. Roland didn’t let up, he knew he was warming her backside considerably. Soon Chastity was feeling very warm and tingly. Roland surveyed his target, then rapidly gave the undercurve of her butt his full attention. He finished it off with several whacks, right on the centre of her seat. When it was over, a sobbing Chastity was sporting a very well-spanked derriere. And she knew it. Her ass hurt.

“I’ll never wet myself again, I promise!” Chastity wailed. Roland spanked hard and fast and her hand flew back to clutch her throbbing sit-upon, but Roland caught it. Then he pulled down her wet jeans, exposing her even wetter pants. Chastity’s face cheeks turned as red as her ass. Roland was getting a full view of her dripping panties! Her pee-soaked underwear was exposed. He smirked as he gave Chastity a botty-swelling paddling to the seat of her dripping panties. He pelted her rump with the brush, spanking her soundly over her knickers. Her sorry ass was really getting it. Roland warmed up her derriere good and proper, and Chastity could feel her butt getting hotter with every smack.

Roland peeled off the undies, smirking at the sight of Chastity’s rosy red cheeks. Chastity gasped out loud – a man was seeing her bare backside! This wasn’t supposed to happen until her wedding night, yet he was getting an unparalleled, rosy view of her bouncing full moon.
“No, please no, not on my bare butt!” Chastity pleaded, but Roland was intent on teaching her naughty ass a hard lesson. Roland’s brush tickled her ass a warm, rosy red. Chastity cried with pain and embarrassment. Here she was, getting her bare bottom spanked for wetting herself. Worse, her naked ass was being exposed to a boy. What would her daddy say?

Roland delivered a series of short, sharp shocks to Chastity’s reddening rear end, confident that it would be a long while before she contemplated going to the bathroom in her pants again. He was intent on building a fire in her ass that she wouldn’t soon forget. Again and again the brush landed on her swelling bottom, and Chastity was bawling like a baby, wishing she could hold her burning butt.  Roland grinned at the bright red glow of Chastity’s cheeks. Her naughty backside looked like a red traffic light. Chastity howled as Roland turned his attention to her sizzling sit-spots, making sure Chastity’s rear was nicely roasted. Chastity squirmed as he paid special attention to her sit-spots, peppering her tender bummy with solid smacks. The brush gave her sit spots another fiery tickle, and her bottom blazed with heat. He was paying special attention to where Chastity sat, because she sure wasn’t going to be sitting down anytime soon. Roland was going to roast her rear for her. He gave several whacks to the centre of her heating hiney, then Roland unleashed his brush all over Chastity’s upturned butt, turning it fire-engine red. The now scarlet-bottomed girl was crying hard; all she could think of was reaching back to comfort her flaming ass.  It felt like her bum was actually on fire.

“Please, I’ll be good, I’ll be good!” she wailed.

“Oh, you will,” smirked Roland, as he firmly applied the brush, “I’m quite sure you’ll be a very good girl, at least until you can sit on your sitting area.”
Roland laid down his brush and took a ping-pong paddle to Chastity’s tail, watching her well-chastised arse rapidly blush a deep, dark red.

“Aaaaahhh! Owwww!” Chastity shrieked, kicking her legs up and down and squirming on Roland’s lap. Roland kept her pinned across his lap, receiving her punishment. She was bucking and screaming as he soundly thrashed her backside. Roland smacked the last vestiges of mischief out of her bum while she hissed with pain. Then he put the paddle on the table and spanked Chastity’s bared bum with his hand. He spanked hard and fast, eliciting more frenzied bawling from the chastised pants wetter. Roland slapped his handprints all over her swollen red ass. Then, proudly, Roland surveyed his handiwork. Chastity’s half moons were no longer the same colour and size as they had been before the spanking. This was one girl who wouldn’t dare take another piss in her pants.

Chastity was still bawling hysterically; she just lay over Roland’s lap, completely exhausted, tears coursing down her face. Gradually, her legs stopped kicking. Roland found the sight of her glowing red ass very comical. Chastity reached back and clasped her red bumcheeks and howled.

Chastity stood up very slowly, both hands clasping her throbbing ass. She rubbed and rubbed her stinging hiney, but it still tingled and felt very warm indeed. She had been transformed into a spanked, hot-bottomed little girl. She didn’t feel twenty, she felt like a spanked little girl who’d just gotten a bare bottom spanking over a man’s knee. Chastity cried as she hopped around the kitchen rubbing her throbbing asscheeks. “I’m sorry, Roland,” she sobbed, “I’ll never wet myself again, not ever!” Very gently, Chastity cupped her aching arse, giving her bright red bum a loving squeeze. She cradled her dark red sit-spots.

A few minutes later, Chastity was standing in the corner rubbing her naked, colourful bum. Her wet pants and jeans had been pulled down to her ankles and her freshly spanked derriere was on full display. Her tomato-hued ass was covered in strawberry-coloured handprints, sit-spots as red as a pair of cherries. Roland took another photograph. Chastity exhibiting her red, spanked behind was literally the picture of humiliation. Her head was hung in shame, fingers soothing the blaze in her rear.

He enjoyed the view for a few more minutes before leaving the room, letting her change in privacy. He’d picked the outfit – his house, his rules, he’d told her. There were pink, full-brief, childish-looking knickers, a white miniskirt, and a pink frilly kid’s top. Chastity emerged from the room, her breasts bursting out of the little top and her red ass hanging out of the skirt. Her face cheeks were as red as her ass cheeks. How shameful to have wet her pants in front of a boy and then been spanked over his lap – on her bare bottom! The reddened bottom that even now was on view, thanks to the tiny skirt.

“My, my,” smirked Roland, “Who thought you were such a bad little slut? Look, your butt is saying hello under your skirt; look at your boobs! I thought a spanking would have taught you better.”

 
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Posted by on August 4, 2012 in The 7 Nights

 

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Abstinence clarifications

I have just discovered that the ‘virginity as gift’ discourse is not the only anti-sexual freedom discourse; the movement is more varied than I had suspected. I apologise for this ommission. I really want my blog to be accurate and properly referenced – watch this space for referenced, peer-reviewed articles on lone motherhood and sexual repression in the next few days – and I don’t want to misrepresent anything. I want you all to be able to check out my sources and challenge my assertions on a factual basis, should you wish to do so; and this blog is going to get more political.

Anyway, I have found a blogger here who presents a religious motive for abstinence (ie admittedly religious, not subtly religious like the gift discourse). He actually disagrees with the gift discourse, as his motivation is legal or law-based. Thus, three types of abstinence discourse can be indentified: Pragmatic (to protect from STDs/pregnancy); to give a gift; and to obey God’s law.

Of course, all three types are religious/control motivated, but they range in how openly religious they are – for example, the pragmatic approach is marketed as nonreligious and as such the movement gained much power under the Bush regime when the Government began to control sexuality by making teens abstinent (abstinence education) and later adults with marriage programs which contained abstinence. This type of abstinence education was attempted by Dorries in January and revived in May in America. It also forms part of “comprehensive” sex ed programs in America, unlike the UK where there is no mention of abstinence in sex ed programs in state schools (so nobody has heard of the word “abstinence”.). It appears to be the most dangerous and politically viable type of abstinence movement and discourse in the West. By contrast, the religio-legal ‘God’s law’ basis is the least politically viable, for obvious reasons, and therefore the least dangerous. So don’t worry about it! I will post more on abstinence very soon, but I just wanted to clarify the incompleteness of what I said before. I’ve been researching abstinence for 2 years so I’m sorry for the ommission. The guy’s blog (in which he explains why he disagrees with Lolo Jones’ gift discourse stance in favour of a God’s Law discourse stance) is here, although it is quite offensive; however, I like it and I did get wet reading it. It is also well-written if a bit long-winded: http://revealchristmission.wordpress.com/2012/06/04/open-letter-to-miss-lolo-miss-lori-regarding-a-few-choice-words-i-hope-proves-helpful-to-a-woman-as-so-stated-by-you-in-last-months-news-more-or-less/

I enjoyed reading the above post, although I realise it would be disturbing to most people.

Although Orthodox Jews and Muslims are also abstinent, personally I do not believe their abstinence movements (if any even exist) to be dangerous; they seem to promote abstinence only within their religious communities and have not made attempts at controlling the freedom of non-Muslims/non-Jews. (I do not refer to terrorists as “Muslims” since Muslims do not feel that terrorists are Muslims, because terrorism is a violation of the principles and values of the Qur’an). This is why I’ll be talking about Christian-based abstinence; it is the most prevalent and politically powerful and the abstinence activists, leaders and their followers do not identify as Jew or Muslim.

 
 

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Why I will go easy on the ‘save yourself’ rhetoric with my daughter

The Abstinence message (even in the lighter, ‘save it for someone special’ version) leads directly to the virgin/whore dichotomy. It is misogynist and anti-feminist because 1)it controls female sexuality but not male as boys aren’t usually given this message; 2) it priveleges vaginal penetration over all other, kinkier sexual acts which is confusing for homosexuals and anyone who doesn’t privelege penetration; 3)it suggests that penetration is the absolute, totally different from other sexual acts which isn’t necessarily true; 4) It leads to a woman’s worth being judged on how sexually repressed she is/what she does and doesn’t do sexually; 5) it creates inequality between the genders. This is a really good article that illustrates how society gets shocked by teen female expressiveness and the harm the ‘save yourself’ message does. Really good comments below it, too.

blue milk

Reading Clementine Ford’s piece in Daily Life on teenage sexuality something struck me about the young girls she was describing.

The arrival of One Direction certainly took Australia by storm – mostly because nobody outside of the 12-17 year old teen girl bracket and a handful of their mothers had ever heard of them. But more interesting than the so-called ‘hysteria’ was the rampant hormonal explosion that occurred simultaneously. The sexual energy that heralded One Direction’s arrival was not only palpable, it was on full display in the homemade signs held aloft by teenage fans outside the Sunrise studios last Thursday morning. Banners bearing slogans such as, ‘Point your erection in my direction’ and ‘Send your one thing Down Under’ were spotted outside the Martin Place broadcast, and captured on TV for a scandalised nation to see.

Channel Seven was forced to apologise for allowing such rampantly offensive behaviour to…

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Purity and Vagina Dententa

So…how did I get into abstinence?  I was 18 in my first year of uni and I bought a DVD from HMV called “Teeth”, a horror movie about a girl who has a vagina with teeth that only bite when she is angry (like when she is raped). I was disappointed at the complete lack of horror in this film, but something else blew my mind: the idea of abstinence and the scene where she gives out abstinence rings and attempts to brainwash children into copying her lifestyle without offering reasons why they should. The idea seemed too kinky and demented even for a horror movie, but I was hooked! I was awed at the scriptwriters’ creativity. The second time I watched the film, I wanked to the scene where she spreads Abstinence, and every time since. A few weeks or months later, I discovered that everything in the film was true (abstinence, not vagina dententa) and not in the Middle East as you would think, but in America! (Where the movie was made and takes place). After that I felt guilty about getting pleasure from a real problem and promised to myself that if such a thing should ever threaten Britain, I would do something against it. I’ve never been able to watch Teeth again, but I am grateful for the love of abstinence it has given me. (This was not the last time that something I wanked to turned out to be true, but I’ll get on to that in another post.)

Some lovely quotes from Teeth:

“If you use your hand on yourself, is that pure?”

“Save it for the mother of your children”

“Last week I was pure”

[12 year old kids chanting at the protagonist for losing virginity and thus “purity”] “The serpent in the Garden of Eden”

“[the diagrams of the uterus in a biology textbook are covered because] women have a natural modesty”

“you know the damage [sex] can do”

and my favourite “gift of virginity” “we all have a precious gift to give”

What is the message of the movie anyway – that abstinent girls are dangerous to men? That rape destroys abstinence? That Christians see rape as being the victim’s fault? That abstinence is self-defeating, impossible, perverted, or a form of self-harm? Maybe there’s no message…Hollywood garbage…or maybe there is…I dunno.

The whole concept of wearing an abstinence ring on your ring finger until the day you exchange it for a wedding ring is divine…the thought of this alone is enough to make me hyperventilate…oh great God in Heaven let me seduce an abstinent boy! Let me tie him up and sit on his cock and ravage him over and over until he faints. I want to rape that beautiful innocent virgin and take away his precious gift of virginity.

Virginity: Gift, to be given only on a wedding night and not even one night before, to your true love, as the writers of Teeth would have it? Or non-existent entity, a social construction made by our culture? Or commodity, to be traded? Or a different thing to everyone? I tend to see guys’ virginities as something valuable to be taken, and girls’ virginities as worthless/non-existent, and my own as valuable in material terms, as non-existent, as erotic, as something to be discarded or thrown away as quickly as possible, as a stigma/brand of shame, as a defining characteristic, as rare, as a tool.

 

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Why abstinence is sexy

I am a virgin.

To me, what I just typed was erotic. Now, imagine abstinence – well, first it might help to explain the type of abstinence I’m talking about. I’m not talking about freely chosen abstinence, as is possible for those who were not brought up by religious households or have a religion, nor the kind of religious abstinence that allows exploration of non-penetrative pleasure, as is quite beautifully and humourously told in Ella’s post here http://ellayourbella.wordpress.com/2012/02/14/resisting-temptation/ .

 

Nope, the kind of abstinence I’m talking about is the kind that doesn’t allow anything beyond kissing, equates casual sex with premarital sex, perpetuates the double standard and the virgin-whore dichotomy. The kind I’ve been reasearching -daddy-daughter purity balls where the daughter vows to stay a virgin until her wedding night and her father vows to protect his daughter’s virginity, virginity pledges at school, and state-funded abstinence “education”/indoctrination for innocent teens (and adults, under Bush).

An offensive pro-abstinence image.

 

Of course you’re all (except for you Americans) probably thinking what on earth I’m talking about and that I’m crazy; well, just ask your American friends! And remember MP Nadine Dorries’ Abstinence education for girls Bill in January that was aimed at stopping child abuse and rape by teaching girls (not boys) to ‘just say no’. I swear, we get more and more like the American South every day. (Though abstinence-only “education” is actually slowly disappearing from America because it leads to STDs and unplanned pregnancy. The programs are being replaced with comprehensive sex ed, which is normal sex ed but still includes abstinence “education” and disurbingly it is sometimes openly admitted that they are trying to stop teens having sex. (Yes, you did read that right. To stop them having sex. As if their bodies aren’t their own.And this is the federal or State government, and government-funded programs we’re talking about. In Georgia, the State government asked a pastor to create a comprehensive program, which promotes abstinence until marriage.) This isn’t a conspiracy theory – they admit it, and even dare to evaluate success based on whether teens were repressed enough to not explore their sexuality!! All of this is very similar to Dorries’ Bill. Except Dorries’ Bill was a thousand times worse than anything the right-wing freedom-haters in the U.S. have spawned, because Dorries was blaming rape/abuse victims for being raped – even child victims. She also failed to acknowledge the existence of male rape/abuse victims and the fact that rape crisis centres and helplines are usually not directed at teenage or adult male victims so the consequences for males may be even worse. And society’s concept of masculinity as being invulnerable or the sexual iniator may further stigmatise male victims or make their trauma worse than that of female victims).

 

Well, rant over for today, but as Schwarzenegger said, I will be back! With more Tales of Terror from the freedom-hating nutjobs of Britain (and possibly America, because whatever happens there is a portent for what could happen here, such as the 90’s stigma against lone mothers, abstinence education, the Silver Ring Thing, etc., all of which were ‘exported’ here.)

 

 

 

So, why is abstinence sexy?

The forbidden fruit angle – it’s baaaaad, and that’s why it’s delicious

The pure abstinent virgin becoming a rabid whore on her wedding night as she finally releases the desires, kinks and urges that the years of repression and waiting have created

The beautiful language of abstinence: sin, fornication, purity, chastity, immorality, morals, devil, etc

The concept that sex angers God – it’s wonderfully archaic and superstitious. Our far ancestors must have feared the Sun as it flamed above the African savannah and known it could see them, even when they mated. These thoughts survive today, especially in Islam, Catholicism and Evangelical Christianity.

Purity rings – the symbol of abstinence, proudly worn to declare one’s sexual state

The emphasis placed on female virginity but not male virginity (e.g. purity balls are only for females, and it is the male parent who guards her virginity and guides her, not the female parent)

Abstinence is the greatest perversion

Yes, I am abstinent; though not until marriage. I am abstinent until either a man will give me the deflowering I want (I’ll post on this later) or until a man buys my virginity. Obv, because Roland has bought me, it will be the latter.

For both men and women:

ABSTINENCE IS SEXY! VIRGINITY IS SEXY!

 

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