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Abstinence clarifications

I have just discovered that the ‘virginity as gift’ discourse is not the only anti-sexual freedom discourse; the movement is more varied than I had suspected. I apologise for this ommission. I really want my blog to be accurate and properly referenced – watch this space for referenced, peer-reviewed articles on lone motherhood and sexual repression in the next few days – and I don’t want to misrepresent anything. I want you all to be able to check out my sources and challenge my assertions on a factual basis, should you wish to do so; and this blog is going to get more political.

Anyway, I have found a blogger here who presents a religious motive for abstinence (ie admittedly religious, not subtly religious like the gift discourse). He actually disagrees with the gift discourse, as his motivation is legal or law-based. Thus, three types of abstinence discourse can be indentified: Pragmatic (to protect from STDs/pregnancy); to give a gift; and to obey God’s law.

Of course, all three types are religious/control motivated, but they range in how openly religious they are – for example, the pragmatic approach is marketed as nonreligious and as such the movement gained much power under the Bush regime when the Government began to control sexuality by making teens abstinent (abstinence education) and later adults with marriage programs which contained abstinence. This type of abstinence education was attempted by Dorries in January and revived in May in America. It also forms part of “comprehensive” sex ed programs in America, unlike the UK where there is no mention of abstinence in sex ed programs in state schools (so nobody has heard of the word “abstinence”.). It appears to be the most dangerous and politically viable type of abstinence movement and discourse in the West. By contrast, the religio-legal ‘God’s law’ basis is the least politically viable, for obvious reasons, and therefore the least dangerous. So don’t worry about it! I will post more on abstinence very soon, but I just wanted to clarify the incompleteness of what I said before. I’ve been researching abstinence for 2 years so I’m sorry for the ommission. The guy’s blog (in which he explains why he disagrees with Lolo Jones’ gift discourse stance in favour of a God’s Law discourse stance) is here, although it is quite offensive; however, I like it and I did get wet reading it. It is also well-written if a bit long-winded: http://revealchristmission.wordpress.com/2012/06/04/open-letter-to-miss-lolo-miss-lori-regarding-a-few-choice-words-i-hope-proves-helpful-to-a-woman-as-so-stated-by-you-in-last-months-news-more-or-less/

I enjoyed reading the above post, although I realise it would be disturbing to most people.

Although Orthodox Jews and Muslims are also abstinent, personally I do not believe their abstinence movements (if any even exist) to be dangerous; they seem to promote abstinence only within their religious communities and have not made attempts at controlling the freedom of non-Muslims/non-Jews. (I do not refer to terrorists as “Muslims” since Muslims do not feel that terrorists are Muslims, because terrorism is a violation of the principles and values of the Qur’an). This is why I’ll be talking about Christian-based abstinence; it is the most prevalent and politically powerful and the abstinence activists, leaders and their followers do not identify as Jew or Muslim.

 
 

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Why abstinence is sexy

I am a virgin.

To me, what I just typed was erotic. Now, imagine abstinence – well, first it might help to explain the type of abstinence I’m talking about. I’m not talking about freely chosen abstinence, as is possible for those who were not brought up by religious households or have a religion, nor the kind of religious abstinence that allows exploration of non-penetrative pleasure, as is quite beautifully and humourously told in Ella’s post here http://ellayourbella.wordpress.com/2012/02/14/resisting-temptation/ .

 

Nope, the kind of abstinence I’m talking about is the kind that doesn’t allow anything beyond kissing, equates casual sex with premarital sex, perpetuates the double standard and the virgin-whore dichotomy. The kind I’ve been reasearching -daddy-daughter purity balls where the daughter vows to stay a virgin until her wedding night and her father vows to protect his daughter’s virginity, virginity pledges at school, and state-funded abstinence “education”/indoctrination for innocent teens (and adults, under Bush).

An offensive pro-abstinence image.

 

Of course you’re all (except for you Americans) probably thinking what on earth I’m talking about and that I’m crazy; well, just ask your American friends! And remember MP Nadine Dorries’ Abstinence education for girls Bill in January that was aimed at stopping child abuse and rape by teaching girls (not boys) to ‘just say no’. I swear, we get more and more like the American South every day. (Though abstinence-only “education” is actually slowly disappearing from America because it leads to STDs and unplanned pregnancy. The programs are being replaced with comprehensive sex ed, which is normal sex ed but still includes abstinence “education” and disurbingly it is sometimes openly admitted that they are trying to stop teens having sex. (Yes, you did read that right. To stop them having sex. As if their bodies aren’t their own.And this is the federal or State government, and government-funded programs we’re talking about. In Georgia, the State government asked a pastor to create a comprehensive program, which promotes abstinence until marriage.) This isn’t a conspiracy theory – they admit it, and even dare to evaluate success based on whether teens were repressed enough to not explore their sexuality!! All of this is very similar to Dorries’ Bill. Except Dorries’ Bill was a thousand times worse than anything the right-wing freedom-haters in the U.S. have spawned, because Dorries was blaming rape/abuse victims for being raped – even child victims. She also failed to acknowledge the existence of male rape/abuse victims and the fact that rape crisis centres and helplines are usually not directed at teenage or adult male victims so the consequences for males may be even worse. And society’s concept of masculinity as being invulnerable or the sexual iniator may further stigmatise male victims or make their trauma worse than that of female victims).

 

Well, rant over for today, but as Schwarzenegger said, I will be back! With more Tales of Terror from the freedom-hating nutjobs of Britain (and possibly America, because whatever happens there is a portent for what could happen here, such as the 90’s stigma against lone mothers, abstinence education, the Silver Ring Thing, etc., all of which were ‘exported’ here.)

 

 

 

So, why is abstinence sexy?

The forbidden fruit angle – it’s baaaaad, and that’s why it’s delicious

The pure abstinent virgin becoming a rabid whore on her wedding night as she finally releases the desires, kinks and urges that the years of repression and waiting have created

The beautiful language of abstinence: sin, fornication, purity, chastity, immorality, morals, devil, etc

The concept that sex angers God – it’s wonderfully archaic and superstitious. Our far ancestors must have feared the Sun as it flamed above the African savannah and known it could see them, even when they mated. These thoughts survive today, especially in Islam, Catholicism and Evangelical Christianity.

Purity rings – the symbol of abstinence, proudly worn to declare one’s sexual state

The emphasis placed on female virginity but not male virginity (e.g. purity balls are only for females, and it is the male parent who guards her virginity and guides her, not the female parent)

Abstinence is the greatest perversion

Yes, I am abstinent; though not until marriage. I am abstinent until either a man will give me the deflowering I want (I’ll post on this later) or until a man buys my virginity. Obv, because Roland has bought me, it will be the latter.

For both men and women:

ABSTINENCE IS SEXY! VIRGINITY IS SEXY!

 

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