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Bristol Palin: Mock the woman, not the teen mom

OK, Bristol Palin and her mother are not exactly my favourite people in all the world. If you’ve read some of my other posts, – or even the title of this blog – you might deduce that, in fact, we are natural enemies. And you would be correct.

Bristol’s recent claim that Obama was just listening to his daughters on the issue of same-sex marriage was idiotic. (So too is the fact that she earns hundreds of thousands preaching abstinence when she herself wasn’t abstinent. And the fact that she isn’t in college when she has the grades to go to college.) I do not defend her claim, nor pretend to have an in-depth knowledge of that issue; I am simply uninterested in the whole thing, as I’m not American and neither Bristol nor Obama are as interesting to read about as Santorum, who is still my favourite lunatic devilspawn idiot. He will always have a place in my heart.

So, while I am opposed to Sarah and Bristol’s existence on the planet, I feel that we should not stoop to their level. There are some things that are off-limits, for our own good and the good of society and feminist principles. I’m talking about the comments below the stories of Bristol’s rant that shame and deride her for being a young mother. The comments include “she can’t keep her legs closed for 15 minutes” “shut your mouth and your legs” “Bristhoe Palin” “I bet Obama’s daughters wouldn’t end up preggers at 17” “where’s your baby-daddy?” “She’s a whore” and many others, depending which article you read.

Now, I understand that Americans – unsurprisingly – want to call her a slut because of the moral high ground she and her mother take, the money she earns indoctrinating innocent children with abstinence and repression, her mother’s abstinence education stance, and the threat to their freedom that they genuinely fear from her mother. If I was American, maybe I would see it diffeently; I don’t know.I don’t claim to know the entire catalogue of Sarah Palin’s ridiculousness.

However, these shame-words and offensive insults are saying that teen mothers are promiscuous whores, a very narrow-minded and untrue belief. Adults are more promiscuous than teens, and nobody knows how many men Bristol has slept with so we cannot call her a whore. They are shaming her just for being a mother, which is one of life’s great joys and, ironically, the traditional role for a woman.

Now, whether or not you are a good mother ot good father does not depend on your age. Women have the right to make a choice about when they want to start a family. And no, it doesn’t mean it’ll somehow, magically, ‘ruin your life’ – Bristol is choosing not to go on to further education, she isn’t unable to because of Tripp. Because of her earnings from preaching abstinence in schools, Bristol is rich enough to hire a team of au pairs to look after Tripp and her own chaffeur to take her to college.Bristol made a choice not to have an abortion and to start her family at age 18 – the age of majority and the second-last year of being a teenager, so it’s a bit of a stretch to even call it “teenage pregnancy”. She started her family with her boyfriend of 4 years, so calling her a “whore” also doesn’t seem to fit. Shaming women for starting families ‘too young’ and de-validating their choices, opinions and freedom to start families is only going to impact negatively on women’s reproductive freedoms and life choices.

So, let’s leave Bristol in peace – not for her sake, but for ours. Or her side – which aims to take away sexual, religious and reproductive freedom from everyone – will win.

 

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Chastity’s blog post

“No vows, no sex”

Hello, this is me writing as Chastity White, a right-wing nutjob. I’m here to tell you why just the women you all should be abstinent. By the way, Kalika is not the only virginal slut/slutty virgin. Check out these other abstinent whores…I mean, totally serious photos that prove my points. If you believe in any other so-called religion that is obviously from the devil, leave now stay and be indoctrinated, you disgusting heathens.

“True love waits”

Women can make it easier for themselves to be abstinent by denying their femininty and degrading their sexuality. We must allow ourselves to be dominated by men, and wear underwear that expresses our dads’ possession of us as a commodity valuable only for our hymen.

Daddy owns me. Daddy’s a gun-wielding, violent maniac who’d murder his own daughter’s boyfriend, and he OWNS me. Help. Please. Child Protection servies? Anyone?

Another good tip is to be on your guard against impure thoughts. Never let a man have sexual contact with you – it’s your fault if he does, because you let him. Women are the guardians of sex and it’s our job to tell him no. It’s not his job to tell us no, or to control himself. If you don’t tell him no, that’s a shame on you but fame for him, because boys should have as many girls as they can. Their virginity is worthless but yours is priceless. This is all non-negotiable because it just is. It’s not even in the Bible, but let’s act like  it’s in the Bible and the laws of our country all at the same time.

Your virginity is your gift. It’s the greatest gift you have – worth way more than your intelligence, personality, good character, hard work, sports achievements, degree(s), religious or political beliefs…

Another argument is that this is all for your own good. Women get hurt by sex but men don’t. This is true for 100% of women and men even in vastly different cultures and historical periods. It’s just as true for homosexuals and trans people. The reason why women get hurt is that we are inferior to men and have a chemical called oxytocin that releases when we chat to friends or have sex; it makes us feel happy. Somehow, that interferes with our ability to not get emotions all mixed up with sex. Men don’t have this chemical or any similar chemical of course. That’s why men don’t have any friends. Obviously. And why men can separate emotions and sex; this separation is the reason why men don’t have committed relationships or get married. Only women ever enter committed relationships, because women fall in love whenever they have sex, and also they want commitment – men never want commitment, of course.

The hymen/corona is of sacred importance. Everything else is okay because it is the non-existent hymen that is symbolic. We know it’s actually called the corona, which never gets ‘broken’ and the ‘hymen’ is just a myth, but WE DON’T CARE. Seriously. So fuck off, liberals.

When you are abstinent, it is of paramount importance to comport yourself in a decent fashion. The abstinence cult doesn’t harm women in any way, or perpetuate the double standard at all. In fact, giving Daddy complete control over his daughter’s sexual choices in a purity ball or purity pledge is actually empowering for his daughter – even though girls as young as four are forced into these pledges. After all, what could be more self-actualising and healthy than letting Daddy decided who you date, and giving Daddy a key until the day you get married and he gives that key to your husband, symbolising the key to your heart and your virginity? This is very progressive behaviour and not barbaric or repressive at all. And although the fact that boys aren’t made to attend purity balls and pledge their virginity to their mothers, that doesn’t mean that we care more about female virginity than male virginity…it doesn’t…honest!!!! As to why Mommy isn’t the natural guardian of her daughter’s virginity, as she has of course gone through the same temptations and understands the urges and hormonal upheavals a young girl has to face, well…Mommy can’t guard her daughter’s heart. It’s Daddy’s job. After all, Mommy is just a woman…she doesn’t have a penis, which of course means she can’t be trusted with anything. Just look at the wonderful regimes in Iran and Saudi Arabia – they know the score. Just because some women – and men- in those countries vehemently oppose the laws and campaign for gender equality doesn’t mean the governments aren’t totally right. We should use their example in our own society by not having a separation of church and state. That way, we could have abstinence indoctrination – sorry, I mean education – in ALL schools, not just some. Then the virgins will be virgins and the sluts will get pregnant and be shamed by the community as they won’t be allowed contraception or abortion (in my ideal universe). The women would have only two choices: which will you be, slut or virgin? No grey areas, just black and white – if you’re not a virgin, you’re a slut. The boys can do what they like, of course, boys are naturally meant to have lots of sex. And everyone would be a repressed conservative and worship the government.

Women are of course passive and asexual, and we don’t have a right to anything more.

 

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Abstinence clarifications

I have just discovered that the ‘virginity as gift’ discourse is not the only anti-sexual freedom discourse; the movement is more varied than I had suspected. I apologise for this ommission. I really want my blog to be accurate and properly referenced – watch this space for referenced, peer-reviewed articles on lone motherhood and sexual repression in the next few days – and I don’t want to misrepresent anything. I want you all to be able to check out my sources and challenge my assertions on a factual basis, should you wish to do so; and this blog is going to get more political.

Anyway, I have found a blogger here who presents a religious motive for abstinence (ie admittedly religious, not subtly religious like the gift discourse). He actually disagrees with the gift discourse, as his motivation is legal or law-based. Thus, three types of abstinence discourse can be indentified: Pragmatic (to protect from STDs/pregnancy); to give a gift; and to obey God’s law.

Of course, all three types are religious/control motivated, but they range in how openly religious they are – for example, the pragmatic approach is marketed as nonreligious and as such the movement gained much power under the Bush regime when the Government began to control sexuality by making teens abstinent (abstinence education) and later adults with marriage programs which contained abstinence. This type of abstinence education was attempted by Dorries in January and revived in May in America. It also forms part of “comprehensive” sex ed programs in America, unlike the UK where there is no mention of abstinence in sex ed programs in state schools (so nobody has heard of the word “abstinence”.). It appears to be the most dangerous and politically viable type of abstinence movement and discourse in the West. By contrast, the religio-legal ‘God’s law’ basis is the least politically viable, for obvious reasons, and therefore the least dangerous. So don’t worry about it! I will post more on abstinence very soon, but I just wanted to clarify the incompleteness of what I said before. I’ve been researching abstinence for 2 years so I’m sorry for the ommission. The guy’s blog (in which he explains why he disagrees with Lolo Jones’ gift discourse stance in favour of a God’s Law discourse stance) is here, although it is quite offensive; however, I like it and I did get wet reading it. It is also well-written if a bit long-winded: http://revealchristmission.wordpress.com/2012/06/04/open-letter-to-miss-lolo-miss-lori-regarding-a-few-choice-words-i-hope-proves-helpful-to-a-woman-as-so-stated-by-you-in-last-months-news-more-or-less/

I enjoyed reading the above post, although I realise it would be disturbing to most people.

Although Orthodox Jews and Muslims are also abstinent, personally I do not believe their abstinence movements (if any even exist) to be dangerous; they seem to promote abstinence only within their religious communities and have not made attempts at controlling the freedom of non-Muslims/non-Jews. (I do not refer to terrorists as “Muslims” since Muslims do not feel that terrorists are Muslims, because terrorism is a violation of the principles and values of the Qur’an). This is why I’ll be talking about Christian-based abstinence; it is the most prevalent and politically powerful and the abstinence activists, leaders and their followers do not identify as Jew or Muslim.

 
 

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Why abstinence is sexy

I am a virgin.

To me, what I just typed was erotic. Now, imagine abstinence – well, first it might help to explain the type of abstinence I’m talking about. I’m not talking about freely chosen abstinence, as is possible for those who were not brought up by religious households or have a religion, nor the kind of religious abstinence that allows exploration of non-penetrative pleasure, as is quite beautifully and humourously told in Ella’s post here http://ellayourbella.wordpress.com/2012/02/14/resisting-temptation/ .

 

Nope, the kind of abstinence I’m talking about is the kind that doesn’t allow anything beyond kissing, equates casual sex with premarital sex, perpetuates the double standard and the virgin-whore dichotomy. The kind I’ve been reasearching -daddy-daughter purity balls where the daughter vows to stay a virgin until her wedding night and her father vows to protect his daughter’s virginity, virginity pledges at school, and state-funded abstinence “education”/indoctrination for innocent teens (and adults, under Bush).

An offensive pro-abstinence image.

 

Of course you’re all (except for you Americans) probably thinking what on earth I’m talking about and that I’m crazy; well, just ask your American friends! And remember MP Nadine Dorries’ Abstinence education for girls Bill in January that was aimed at stopping child abuse and rape by teaching girls (not boys) to ‘just say no’. I swear, we get more and more like the American South every day. (Though abstinence-only “education” is actually slowly disappearing from America because it leads to STDs and unplanned pregnancy. The programs are being replaced with comprehensive sex ed, which is normal sex ed but still includes abstinence “education” and disurbingly it is sometimes openly admitted that they are trying to stop teens having sex. (Yes, you did read that right. To stop them having sex. As if their bodies aren’t their own.And this is the federal or State government, and government-funded programs we’re talking about. In Georgia, the State government asked a pastor to create a comprehensive program, which promotes abstinence until marriage.) This isn’t a conspiracy theory – they admit it, and even dare to evaluate success based on whether teens were repressed enough to not explore their sexuality!! All of this is very similar to Dorries’ Bill. Except Dorries’ Bill was a thousand times worse than anything the right-wing freedom-haters in the U.S. have spawned, because Dorries was blaming rape/abuse victims for being raped – even child victims. She also failed to acknowledge the existence of male rape/abuse victims and the fact that rape crisis centres and helplines are usually not directed at teenage or adult male victims so the consequences for males may be even worse. And society’s concept of masculinity as being invulnerable or the sexual iniator may further stigmatise male victims or make their trauma worse than that of female victims).

 

Well, rant over for today, but as Schwarzenegger said, I will be back! With more Tales of Terror from the freedom-hating nutjobs of Britain (and possibly America, because whatever happens there is a portent for what could happen here, such as the 90’s stigma against lone mothers, abstinence education, the Silver Ring Thing, etc., all of which were ‘exported’ here.)

 

 

 

So, why is abstinence sexy?

The forbidden fruit angle – it’s baaaaad, and that’s why it’s delicious

The pure abstinent virgin becoming a rabid whore on her wedding night as she finally releases the desires, kinks and urges that the years of repression and waiting have created

The beautiful language of abstinence: sin, fornication, purity, chastity, immorality, morals, devil, etc

The concept that sex angers God – it’s wonderfully archaic and superstitious. Our far ancestors must have feared the Sun as it flamed above the African savannah and known it could see them, even when they mated. These thoughts survive today, especially in Islam, Catholicism and Evangelical Christianity.

Purity rings – the symbol of abstinence, proudly worn to declare one’s sexual state

The emphasis placed on female virginity but not male virginity (e.g. purity balls are only for females, and it is the male parent who guards her virginity and guides her, not the female parent)

Abstinence is the greatest perversion

Yes, I am abstinent; though not until marriage. I am abstinent until either a man will give me the deflowering I want (I’ll post on this later) or until a man buys my virginity. Obv, because Roland has bought me, it will be the latter.

For both men and women:

ABSTINENCE IS SEXY! VIRGINITY IS SEXY!

 

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