24 Sep

How the abstinence cult harms women – even rape victims – and encourages slut-shaming.

Sacred Struggler

I grew up in the Christian church and I went to Christian school all but one year (which I was home schooled for). There is nothing in my life that has been defined outside of Christianity including my grasp on my own sexuality. When I was sixteen years old, I had boyfriend who pushed me to a breaking point.

It was July 4th. We went to a party with his family and I was allowed to stay the night with a promise from his aunt that I would sleep in her camper. My boyfriend’s dad got drunk though and wanted to go home instead. When Mike, my boyfriend, was driving us back; his dad said that I could stay at their house if I kept it a secret. When he said that, I knew where this was going.

And we were making out and he was everywhere. And things were…

View original post 486 more words


Posted by on September 24, 2012 in Abstinence


3 responses to “

  1. sacredstruggler

    September 24, 2012 at 8:25 pm

    Thank you for re-blogging. I would ask that as you read this, you keep in mind that I retain an abstinence position and would teach my children to refrain from sex. However, I will not see them as a failure for not doing so. This piece is about honest and open communication with kids about sex so they can make an informed choice. People who choose abstinence need not be demonized or pushed into a cult corner either. The point is to give them a chance to make a fully informed choice if they are so lucky.

    • Kalika Gold

      September 25, 2012 at 12:22 am

      You’re welcome 🙂 Yeah, I assumed you weren’t completely against abstinence, just certain attitudes others had to the situation you were forced into, and the side-effects of the abstinence education you were given. I reblogged it to make a point/continue a line of argument from previous posts, I didn’t mean to hijack your experience for my own ends or make it seem like you were against abstinence. I don’t think private individuals who freely choose abstinence are a cult; the cult reference was to certain politicians and NGOs as well as social structures, discourses/concepts and is taken from the title of Jessica Valenti’s book. (Though of course what I said was quite misleading and could be construed as reducing individuals’ choices to a “cult” if you hadn’t read my other posts).

      • sacredstruggler

        September 25, 2012 at 8:25 pm

        I have another you may like about what I was taught in Christian school. It’s called: (not) studying sex in the christian school. I appreciate your response, and for caring enough to give a response. Keep owning your thoughts! It’s beautiful.


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