Pranking Roland

03 Sep

I just saw Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom on BBC3, and I thought it was sexy, the whole ripping the heart out thing. The movie was sexist but still great. I do have a certain respect for the Hindu goddess Kali – though she is the Creator and not a bloodthirsty idol as in the movie (though she does have vampiric tendencies which is how she killed the demon Daruka). I named myself Kalika because of her, and also a character in the the book The Last Vampire 5: Evil Thirst by Christopher Pike. I’ve read a couple of academic books on Kali, and she is a very complex and multi-faceted being/idea. My last name, Gold, is from Jacqueline Gold the creator of the Ann Summers chain, and also because I wanted to give myself a colour name and decided it would be Black, Red or Gold. Black sounded too depressing and while Red expressed my personality, it didn’t sound like a real surname.

Anyway, this is how I pranked Roland:

I created a  profile on LinkedIn a couple weeks ago, claiming to be a journalist at the Sun. On my page, I mentioned I’d been promoted for exposing sex scandals. Then I requested to be connected (sort of like adding someone on Facebook) to Roland’s LinkedIn profile. In the message that went with the add, I said stated that I realised this was awkward because I didn’t know him, but that he ws one of only 2 leads for a sex scandal story I was researching and I wondered if he could help me.

I’d put in a few clues for Roland that this was a prank – in my skills section I’d put ‘spanking’ as a skill along with a few real-sounding skills, and I’d put my university as “Bendover college, University of Wisconsin”. However, a few minutes later I began to worry that Roland would be so anxious that he wouldn’t spot the clues, or that he wouldn’t even look at my page. Then he might get pissed off at me for scaring him and not see me again and I’d lose all the money! (Or inadvertently out himself, and perhaps me, through trying to do damage limitation – maybe he would even contact the Sun to lie to them or bribe them.) So I created another profile using the name Kalika Gold and added him, saying in the message that I’d created this profile to tell him that the journalist was me and “haha, I got you for like 5 seconds! Are you going to spank me for it?”

This profile stated I worked at RolandTech as a Lesuire coordinator and that “This role involves a high degree of flexibility, and mainly planning, organising and coordinating entertainment and leisure activities. Forward planning is essential, and is motivation is key. Various positions and planning tools and instruments are utilised to fulfil different objectives.” One of my skills was listed as “spanking millionaires because I hate them so much”.

Anyway, I recieved a reply from Roland to my fake journalist profile, saying “Well you did get me! And yes, you should get what you deserve 🙂 Currently in the US settling a business emergency :/ but will be back early Sept.”

I bet he’ll punish me really hard for this. ;D


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